Saturday, December 12, 2009

Texting Implants

I have been on Twitter for a while now, and the most amazing thing to me about Twitter is the fact that Shaq tweets. This does not amaze me because he is a pro athlete, or because he never struck me as someone that had all that much to say, but because he tweets from his phone. If I have trouble texting and twittering on my phone with my little fingers, I can't imagine what it is like for him with his giant thumbs. You can't be a giant without giant thumbs. Trust me on this one. I looked it up.

Maybe he has an assistant to whom he dictates his tweets. Maybe he has some sort of special Jitterbug/Sidekick hybrid. Maybe he pays his cousin Larry to tweet for him. Who knows?

I have tried to ask him how he does it, but he has never responded, which makes his twittering even more suspect, but that is really beside the point.

All I know is that unless he has a little Orlando Magic left or Kazaam was actually a documentary, Shaq is not texting without making more than a few errant key strikes.

The main point is that Shaq got me thinking about how to make texting etc. easier for people with big, meaty thumbs like me... me and Shaq.

What did I come up with? What is my idea?

Teflon implants that go under the skin of the thumb to create a raised bump, allowing for easier texting with little or no inconvenience and or maintenance.

Is this taking texting too far? Is this turning twittering into torture?

Some of you are probably asking these questions, and some of you probably think that this is crazy talk. Maybe you don't believe that anyone would ever want to undergo a surgical procedure to enhance their texting skills. I would like to feel the same way, I really would, but have you seen the surgical procedures that people are getting for no apparent reason, for no practical benefit?

People are getting everything from calf implants to horns. Horns. If there is someone out there making money on horn implants, then I think you can easily turn this idea into cold hard cash. Of course, the devil is in the details (don't know if that was a pun or just cheese factor). Perfecting the process and making it affordable is the key.

There is a market for this. Make it happen. Make lots of money, and really, seriously, please don't forget to think about sending me some.

P.S. Virtually all the words and phrases on the SideShaq phone were taken from his Twitter.

P.P.S. Not so very long ago, I got to hang out with someone much smarter than me, Mo Rocca. Here is proof.

P.P.P.S. I know I just said that people are getting implants for no reason. I would like to say that I do support some types of implants, even if they serve no practical purpose.

P.P.P.P.S. You know how you can find out about all my new ideas with little or no inconvenience? Yeah, subscribe. Click here to subscribe.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Toilet Terraforming

Lately, I've been working on tons of different projects, but every day I take time out to think, to ponder, to touch my oversoul... to think and reflect in my own way.

Where do I take this time? Do I go to the woods, to nature, as suggested by the traditional Transcendentalists?

No. I do my pondering on a much smaller pond than Thoreau's Walden. I do most of my really deep thinking in the same place and position as most of you... on the toilet.

Recently, I was philosophizing, and the oversoul reached out and touched me... Not like that! No... but it did touch me... deep down, and this idea came to me, this idea that has to be my single most viable and marketable idea to date. It combines two things that people love: gardening and pooping. Moreover, this idea promises to enrich and simplify people's lives with minimal effort. Everything I just said can be summed up with one symbol: $

What is this brilliant idea?

A planter that replaces the lid on the back of your toilet, allowing you to grow flowers or herbs in your bathroom, allowing you to get in touch with nature while you are getting in touch with your crossword puzzle, Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, and your deep philosophical ponderings.

I know. I know. You have no gardening skills at all. You have killed everything from ficus to ferns, from daisies to daffodils. You either overwater or forget to water your plants. Here in lies the beauty of this idea, you never have to water these plants! A wick hanging down into the toilet reservoir soaks up just the right amount of water to keep your bathroom garden perfectly watered.

Think about it. You could have a little herb garden or wonderful smelling flowers growing in your bathroom, acting as living potpourri. Try telling me people don't like potpourri. Go ahead try. You can't! People don't just like potpourri, they love the word, "potpourri." Next time you go to a party, drop the word, "potpourri," and see what happens.

Are you a naysayer? Do you think this idea won't sell? Try telling that to the guys who invented the Chia Pet. They will laugh in your face, take this idea, and make another couple of million dollars, because the price points are perfect and this idea has that kitschy quirky "it factor."

In my research for this, I came across a self contained herb garden selling for $180.00. If there are people out there dropping that kind of cash on herbs that you can't smoke, then I know you can move at least a million units of the Toilet Gardener® for $19.95 at Walgreens or $59.99 at Brookstone.

Don't let the Chia Pet guys laugh in your face. Take this idea and make millions of dollars with it... and send me some of that money, or at least a complimentary Toilet Gardener®, so I can rename my toilet, Chuck's Pond.

P.S. If you subscribe to Ideas By Chuck, something magical will happen: You will get to read Ideas By Chuck without the worry and hassle of opening Safari, Internet Explorer, or Firefox. Click To Subscribe.

P.P.S. I am on Twitter - @ideasbychuck

P.P.P.S. I have a movie script about vampires. Vampires are so hot right now. If you are the head of a major studio or a not so major studio looking for some new vampire blood, let me know.

P.P.P.P.S. As you can see, I did find one reference to a retro toilet designed to hold a plant, but I am sure that the self watering mechanism was not a part of their design, and that is the genius part of this idea.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Megan Fox Saves The Day

This is another one of my ideas that is a little less about personal gain, and a little more about furthering mankind's journey towards the goals of humanism and building a better, stronger society. I want to make the world a better place, and I know many of you feel the same way. Think of me as an NPR underwriter with no money.

But, enough about me being a bankrupt philanthropist. I have figured out a way that California can solve it's current budget crisis, saving thousands of jobs, ensuring continued funding for social programs, and maybe helping some little kids learn how to read, because even though it is possible to teach yourself how to read, it helps to have a teacher.

Now, I know many of you are smart enough not to live in California. That's okay. I am sure that California isn't the only state with budget problems, and if your state has a lottery, you can try to make this happen there too. I am just going to use California for this post because I live here, and so does Megan Fox... not together... yet...

Here is the idea: Lotto scratch tickets featuring semi-tasteful nude photos of Megan Fox. Semi-tasteful, because everything Megan Fox does is semi-distasteful, and we love it.
You would scratch to reveal her naked body. There would be several different photos. The photos could be printed as silver holograms, so people couldn't scan or photograph them easily. Only 1 in 5 would actually show her naked body. All the others would either be winners, or you would find her in a sexy lingerie. This would encourage people to buy multiple tickets.

Of course, it doesn't necessarily have to be Megan Fox, but she is the sexy chick of the moment, and I feel like, for a couple of hundred thousand dollars, she would be interested in helping little kids learn to read. After all, if they can't read, they can't read her amazing quotes. Plus, this might help her make some friends.

"I have no friends and I never leave my house." - Megan Fox, Times of London, June 2009

Think about it. You have to be 18 to buy lotto tickets and pornography, so you wouldn't have to send out any special memos to 7-11 workers. These tickets would have a certain amount of collectibility. People who wouldn't normally buy lotto tickets would buy these for the novelty etc. California has already tried to broaden their lotto market by teaming up with the entertainment industry, selling scratch tickets featuring bands like the Seal and the Goo Goo Dolls (yeah really) and movies like Mad Money. I know that I am not just speaking for myself, when I say that I would choose a naked Megan Fox over a turtlenecked Diane Keaton any day.
Even better than expanding the market here in California, there would be a secondary market for already scratched tickets on the internet, selling to Megan Fox fans all over the world, so this would bring money into California, not just act as a voluntary tax. The collectibility factor might even lead to tickets being purchased and never being scratched.

Now, I know some people are going to have a problem with this, but those are the same people who already have a problem with the lottery. Yeah, yeah, gambling is a sin. Nudity is a sin... Oh wait... Is it? Really? Where does it say that in the Bible?

Make this happen and you will make a lot of people happy... a lot. Make it happen! Do it!

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck makes a lot of financial sense. It is free. Click Here.

P.P.S. I am on Twitter: @ideasbychuck

P.P.P.S. Megan Fox, I am single, so if you ever decide you want to drop the B.A.G., look me up.

P.P.P.P.S. Sometimes, people forget to look at all my past great ideas. There could be an idea just waiting for you!

P.P.P.P.P.S. If Megan Fox won't do it, I am available.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Lego Clothing

I have been away for a while. Did you think that I had left the internet forever in an attempt to save the economy? This couldn't be further from the truth. Believe it or not, I have actually been sucked deeper into the internet. Besides, I wasn't saving the economy with my spending before I became one with my computer.

That said, I have a new and exciting idea that could make you super rich and maybe even... famous.

Have you ever said to yourself, "Self, I wish that this dress I am wearing was a little tighter, or looser... Oh! I don't know! I just wish it was a little different. I mean, I like this dress, but..."?

I know you have, because you were talking about a dress, and since you were talking about a dress, you are probably a woman, a transexual, or a cross dresser, three types of people known for their inability to accept things for what they are. Well, what if you had a dress that you could easily change? Would that make you happy? I know... Yeah.. Okay, lets just imagine that you can be happy. Yeah? Now? Okay.

Lego Clothing would be that dress.

Lego Clothing would be clothing easily assembled from small, connectable and interchangeable pieces, allowing people to easily design, redesign, and alter their own clothing just like playing with Legos.

There have been many attempts at modular clothing, from the ever cheesy Abercrombie + Fitch zip off pant leg cargo pants/shorts, to the more fashion and gimp forward 120 zipper dress, but all of the examples I have found fall short of the versatility and simplicity of Legos. You can do better. I am not saying this is going to be super easy, but I am confident you can do it, even if you have to team up with Lego to get it done.

The clothing would come in kits just like Legos, with instructions, and the person assembling them can follow the directions to a tee or not... kind of like Ikea furniture, but not following the directions won't mean your bed falling apart while you are having sex with a Puerto Rican race car driver or a girl who insists on chanting, "Oh You're a big boy just like CHASE! JUST LIKE CHASE! JUST LIKE CHASE!" the entire time.

You might have some reservations. Here are some envisioned FAQs along with answers.

Q: How will someone wash and dry all these little pieces without them getting lost?
A: Simple. In a specially designed washing bag.

Q: What if I am retarded and or have no hands, and I can't assemble my own clothing, but I still want to buy this product?
A: "Lego tailor shops" will no doubt spring up, employing 10 year old boys to assemble and alter this clothing.

Q: I don't like anything that involves imagination, innovation, or having my own unique style, is this product for me?
A: No.

Many people in the world are on a constant quest for their own unique style, and I can't throw a rock without hitting a girl that who would like to be on Project Runway. Why do you think Lifetime just payed $150 million for the rights to it?

Make this happen, and you will not only make money, you will make fashion history! But don't forget to think about tossing me some of those billions of dollars. I will even model for you.

P.S. It is so hot right now to subscribe to Ideas By Chuck. Do it now! Click here.

P.P.S. I am trying to change the world with my fashion project. Check it out here.

P.P.P.S. If you want to know way too much about me, check out The History of Chuck.

P.P.P.P.S. Yes, I am still on Twitter @ideasbychuck.g7sh4kv9md

Monday, August 31, 2009

The Internet Is Killing The Economy

I think a lot. I have been thinking about a lot of things. I have probably been thinking about too many things, because there are a lot of things going on in my life right now.

One major thing that I have been thinking about, that I think we have all been thinking about is the economy.

The country seems to be slowly climbing back out of this "downturn" in the economy, but sales are slow across the board. People just aren't buying. But, wouldn't you know it, have an explanation beyond the obvious, and more importantly, a solution.

It's not just consumer confidence that is down, but more importantly, consumer desire. We as a society are not clamoring for the same endless amounts of crap to fill the holes in our souls in the same way that generations of Americans before us were.


A majority of Americans have gotten pretty deep into the internet. I know I have. Now we are filling the holes in our souls with online role playing games, social networking, porn, blogging, and a laundry list of other widgets, gadgets, and applications that are all serving to distract us from buying real stuff. For many people this "Second Life" had already quickly become a first life taking up all the time that they might have spent shopping before. All it took was this economic crisis to cement the transition from the material world where most people are losers to the virtual online universe where anyone can be a king, a queen, an elf, or even an ogre king deep in the woods.

Why blow all your money on a new car when you are getting chicks by posting pictures of Chuck Norris riding a unicorn? Why buy a new stereo system when your earbuds plug straight into your laptop and sound great? Why worry about stylish new shoes when you already have a pair that you hardly ever use?

Maybe you are saying to yourself, "Hey, I don't play no faggy nerd role playing games. I ain't all sucked into the internet." Guess what. You are. Even people like you who want to pretend like they don't play role playing games are playing things like Maffia Wars on Facebook or engaging in something similar on the NASCAR community website.

Plus, if you are reading my blog, you are probably pretty deep into the internet already.

So what is the solution?

I know that companies have been pouring hundreds of millions if not billions of dollars into the internet, jockeying for search engine rankings, developing newer, slicker websites, and paying top dollar to have these very same games created to keep people coming back to spend more time on their site and in turn see more advertising. Damn that was a long sentence, and I didn't even mention porn. If you ask me, without porn, there would be no streaming videos etc. on the internet. Long story short, a lot of money has been put into building the internet up and getting people to get on it, and you know this man. But, if companies want to see people buying real stuff again, they are going to have to rally against the internet.

I recommend PSA's, pop up windows reminding people how long they have been online, big clocks on websites, celebrity endorsements against the internet, and if you want to get shady, paying off cable and phone companies for strategic network failures, slowdowns, and or viruses... if no one could get online the day after Thanksgiving... they might just go shopping.

We have to get people off the internet and get them to the mall! Unless, that is... they are checking out

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck is still patriotic. Click Here.

P.P.S. I am now on Tumblr, so you can easily reblog me all over the place. Just be sure to go buy a new purse or watch afterwards.

P.P.P.S. Molly and I are still working on getting our own reality show. You aren't too late to the party. Go to to find out more.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Boy Meets Blogger

I am sure that all of you, my millions of fans, will remember that a while back I had an idea for a reality show staring me. Well, yeah, I know I have tons of ideas, so if you don't remember, you can click here.

Unfortunately for the viewing public, and all those would be reality show moguls nothing has come of this idea...yet.

But, since I let that idea float out into the world, like a Scooby Doo shaped mylar balloon spiraling to the heavens, I have been in contact with a bloggirl (that's pronounced blog-girl not blo-girl) named Molly McAleer or Molls. If you have been paying attention, you know she interviewed me for her web show, The Molls Show.

Now, I never met Kurt Vonnegut, but I can't imagine him not accusing me of having a brain to big for my own good. Thoughts started to swirl through my brain, thought of some sort of show about me and Molly hitting the mean streets of Hollywood like Laverne and Shirley, trying to make it our way, but in Hollywood, not Milwaukee. Well, these thoughts just kept swirling around in my brain until I finally told Molly about them...

YOU GUYS GOT LUCKY! She liked the idea, and together we came up with this:

Title: Boy Meets Blogger
Genre: Reality
Logline: The Hills meets Real World: Season 1 meets the Internet.

Back Story:

Molly McAleer and I were brought together by a plot line ripped from the pages of a terrible romantic comedy script.

Molly saw a flier for my website, took a picture of it, and made fun of me for it on her blog MollsSheWrote. She said that I was clearly just some guy trying to get a book deal by using budget fliers with quaint hand-drawn illustrations. My friend Mack saw her post and sent it to me along with this message, "This girl saw your ad. She is famous on the internet."

I found Molly on Twitter, and asked her if she had even looked at my website. She hadn't, so I bugged her until she checked it out.

When she finally really read my site and discovered that I am pretty famous on the internet too, she asked to interview me for her web show. I said yes, and made her a $5000 tshirt to show that there were no hard feelings.

We finally met in real life, hit it off, and discovered that we had a lot in common... way too much in common...


Boy Meets Blogger would be about internet personalities, Chuck McCarthy and Molly McAleer teaming up to create new, high concept blogs (think and other internet projects in an attempt to land a book deal or something even bigger...

Research for these new blogs would take them from the mean streets of LA to Hollywood clubs, dive bars, and car parks and everywhere in between, while revealing the day to day drama of their lives that will whip audiences into a frenzy of speculation over their relationship... Is there something more than friendship there?

Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, I know, pure gold right? This show has the two things that people are looking for these days, web ties and awesomeness.

Take this idea and run with it! Make it happen! If you need something to pass around to get people excited about this, you can send them

P.S. Subscribe to ideas by chuck before there are too many people on the internet and we stop letting people in.

P.P.S. Go Go Lucky Pants! You know what I am talking about.

P.P.P.S. Have you checked out

P.P.P.P.S. I am on twitter now. @ideasbychuck. I promise that even my inane chatter is still fairly amusing.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The HoverDuster

If there is one thing in this world that I hate unabashedly with great passion, it is dust. I hate dust! I hate it more than anything in my day to day life. I hate dust more than the thought of another Transformers movie.

A couple of months ago I decided to try to figure out a way to defeat dust, and thoughts of dust have been consuming my mind for the last couple of months. Dust. Dust. Dust.

Many dusty thoughts have gone through my mind in the last couple of months. I have thought of everything from a spray on shield that you could peel off your possessions like a snake shedding it's skin to simply killing everyone in the world, since %90 of dust is actually human skin... but most of my ideas seemed a bit... impractical, not to mention immoral.

Then I started thinking about the Roomba. You have all seen the commercials for the Roomba or known some single guy with too much money from winning Merv Griffin's Crosswords, who bought one to feel like he was in Star Wars.

Though I have to admit that the Roomba is much more effective and durable than it might seem, it is still only really effective for already anal people who live alone in single level apartments with hardwood floors. It's not going to deal well at all with big cereal spills, lots of dirt, shag carpet, or little kids.

But, imagine a robotic blimp duster with Roomba-like programing floating through the air, constantly dusting your furniture (if you have been working on this concept for 3 years and have written your post doc dissertation on indoor wind currents effects on autonomous robotic sensor arrays, I am sorry)! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the HoverDuster.

Maybe you don't think that a blimp can move with enough agility to do the job. Maybe you should watch this video of a flying saucer blimp narrated by a guy with a lisp.

Wasn't that cool? If this guy can make a flying saucer that can reign down business cards like manna from heaven, I am sure you can get the HoverDuster up and running... though it might take the brains of a couple of Roombas and kidnapping a couple of kids from MIT or Caltech.

If you can get the HoverDuster into stores and on sale for under $100.00 by this Christmas, you will sell millions of them. I will even buy one if you aren't classy enough to send me one along with a couple of million bucks. The Go-Duster is your strongest competition. Come on.

P.S. Subscribe to Ideas By Chuck today and you will be subscribing before tomorrow. Click Here.

P.P.S. Cameron Balloons and DragonFly are two companies to approach about teaming up to make the HoverDuster a reality.

P.P.P.S. The fact that the paparazzi aren't using this thing to get pictures of Tom Cruise making out with dudes is substantial proof that the whole clash between the paparazzi and celebrities is manufactured.

P.P.P.P.S. If you work at iRobot makers of the Roomba, you should really bring this idea up in your next meeting. If you don't, then I don't think you are smart enough to be working at a robot company.

P.P.P.P.P.S. I am taking over Twitter. Follow me.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Laundry Marketing

The other day, a magical thing happened. I did laundry at the laundromat.

NO! That is not the magical thing!

I did laundry and when I got home, I found that instead of losing a sock, I had gained a promotional t-shirt for some musical called "Lost In Hollywoodland." It has a cartoon drawing of a devil on it... kind of a rockabilly vibe. I inspected it and read it very carefully, trying to remember if it was mine... maybe I just forgot about going to a rockabilly musical about the devil. I paid some serious attention to this t-shirt. I don't think I have ever inspected a piece of clothing so well.

You should know that I consider laundromats to be part of the seventh level of hell, hot, poorly lit, depressing, full of crazy people, hot, bad soft rock, and for some reason, dirty. But, finding this shirt got me to thinking about this idea.

I started thinking about how effective slipping promotional t-shirts or towels into people's laundry could be, especially for certain thing like movies, bands, restaurants, and possibly detergents. Half the battle in advertising is to get someone to pay attention to what you are saying, whether they believe you or remember your message is secondary to getting people to pay attention, and finding that shirt in my laundry had definitely gotten my attention.

Imagine if Fox Searchlight had sent street teams out to laundromats to slip a couple of thousand "Vote For Pedro" t-shirts into people's laundry before the movie came out. The movie was huge, but what if they had been able to plant that buzz out there in people's wardrobes long before it's release?

The key is making really cool shirts. This might be a perfect arena to implement hidden agenda hypercolor shirts. These hypercolors would come out of the dryer looking like plain white t-shirts, but when they cool down, a slogan or message is revealed.

Pairing this idea with the right product is just as important as putting the right socks together, and there are infinite possibilities, so I can't go into all of them. Obviously there is a certain demographic that goes to laundromats, and certain products you would never want to associate with laundry even if only millionaire super models washed clothes at laundromats.

Take this idea and build your guerrilla marketing company around it. Make tons of money. Maybe you can hire me, and give me some of that money.

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck is still super cool, so SUBSCRIBE

P.P.S. Drink lots of fluids.

P.P.P.S. I am on twitter- @ideasbychuck

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Intimidating Uncle

I know you have all been waiting for yet another reality show idea from me. Guess what. I was waiting for another reality show idea from me too, and as luck would have it, I had one... I had one in my back pocket all along and didn't even realize it until just now.

As some or all of you, my billions of adoring and sexy readers, know, I have another blog called Intimidating Uncle, where I basically bring down the law on little kids. I play the roll of the Intimidating Uncle.

You know the Intimidating Uncle, the uncle who always said things to you that you only half-way understood but could tell from the tone of voice that they were either blatantly or mildly insulting, the uncle who wouldn't take any of the crap you would get away with around your parents, the uncle who didn't believe in unconditional love, the uncle who intimidated the crap out of you (in some families this roll is played by a close family friend).

Here is the idea: Intimidating Uncle the reality show.

Title: Intimidating Uncle
Genre: Reality
Logline: Super Nanny meets Wife Swap meets Uncle Buck.

Synopsis: Parents are sent on a vacation for a week leaving their children in the care of an uncle, an Intimidating Uncle, giving the uncle a chance to bring his brand of discipline down on the children. The Intimidating Uncle tries to whip the kids into shape, the parents get a much deserved break.

This has smash hit written all over it because it is basically playing off the same formula as several other very popular shows like the ABC hit shows Super Nanny and Wife Swap, but it also has the advantage of being able to showcase resorts and other vacation destinations. Can you say advertising dolla dolla billz yall? Plus, if you cast the right uncles, single and moderately handsome (like me), you can broaden the shows appeal and demographic.

P.S. You better subscribe to Ideas By Chuck... or else!

P.P.S. I have to thank my friend Ben for pointing out/opening my eyes to this idea. If you want to produce this, you should bring him on as a co-producer. He knows his stuff, and he is somewhat of an intimidating uncle himself.

P.P.P.S. I am still doing things on Twitter. Follow me if you want to - @ideasbychuck

Sunday, June 28, 2009


Don't you hate it when your favorite AS SEEN ON TV pitchman dies? Can't see yourself watching TV stoned at 4am ever again? Are you looking for an answer?

How about an Ideas By Chuck IDEA? What's that?! Stay tuned to find out more!

When I heard that Billy Mays had passed away, I got sad. But then I thought to myself WWBMD? Billy Mays would dry his tears away with a Zorbeez™ the AS SEEN ON TV super absorbent towel, and turn this tragedy into opportunity.

I know what you are thinking! How can you do that? Well Sharon, in the next few paragraphs I am going to tell you about an amazing new idea that can turn your life around and that frown upside down! So stick around and find out how!

Now, I am sure that you are all avid followers of Billy's Discovery Channel show PitchMen, a brilliant combination of advertising and drama, but where will this show go now that Billy is gone? Do you really think that Anthony "Sully" Sullivan can carry the show by himself?

Say it with me! - I DON'T THINK SO!

Sullivan can't handle all the pitching by himself, so who will carry the show? Who will step in to sell fine products to the good people of America? Who will make offers even sweeter by doubling what you get for the same price for limited times? Who will throw in additional amazing items at NO EXTRA COST?


Vince Offer, A.K.A. The Shamwow Guy? No! His image is so dirty that even OxiClean™ could get it clean. His recent arrest for attacking a prostitute has knocked him off the short list. Vince Offer?

Say it with me! - I DON'T THINK SO!

Ron Popeil of RonCo fame? No! He is too old! He's so old, he could have invented breathing. Do you think America will trust a guy that old?

Say it with me! - I DON'T THINK SO!

Say, Sharon, do you remember when I told you that I had an idea? Say folks, do you remember when I said I had an idea? Well, here it is!

PitchMen should be turned into a search for America's Next Big Pitchman!

What do you think about that folks? Just imagine watching the exploits of 15 unknown pitch men and women as they try to become the next Billy Mays! And don't forget about all the amazing product placement that this makes possible! Doesn't that sound exciting folks?

Say it with me! - I DO THINK SO!!!

The show would be hosted by Anthony Sullivan and each week a panel of judges randomly composed of stoners, housewives, and the unemployed would decide the contestants' fates. Special guest appearances by Ralph Nader could also be a regular part of the show.

Act now! If you are a Discovery Channel Executive Producer, Anthony Sullivan, or someone else at Sullivan Productions, and you use this idea to make millions, please send me some of that cash +S&H. Sorry, no CODs. Hurry! Act now and I will throw in another idea for FREE! The special limited edition Michael Jackson sequin covered Ove Glove!™. This is a limited time offer, so act now!

P.S. Subscribe to Ideas By Chuck and for a limited time I will dedicate one of my prayers for Billy Mays to you for FREE.

P.P.S. I was sad about Michael Jackson too, but with ideas like the vibrating yoga ball, I think you all understand why I had to make this mainly about Billy Mays.

P.P.P.S. I am still on Twitter. Follow me - ideasbychuck.

Monday, June 22, 2009


Yeah, this is my 75th idea, and I know some of you are wondering when I am going to either become super rich, and or give up on this whole ideas blog thing. If I am bad at one thing, it is giving up. Men who refuse to give up on other people's ideas are zealots, fanatics, and obsessive compulsive. Men who refuse to give up on their own ideas are men of vision. I say, "men" because I am a man, and my friend has a hat that says, "men of vision" on it, but you can put a "wo-" in front of all the "mens" if you want to. There are definitely some women of vision out there too, but I am a man, so I want to be a man of vision. Long story short - I'm not giving up yet.

For this Special Edition 75th Idea I am going to give you, my millions of loyal readers, an idea that I actually worked on selling to someone before I got sidetracked. I almost had the time, energy, and passion to bring THIS idea to life.

MASTERDATERS - A multi-platform dating spectacle.

MasterDaters is a speed dating event with combined with Iron Chef, Wipe Out, Singled Out, and Monday Night football. Participants go on a series of speed dates while having their moves and mistakes documented and analyzed by snarky commentators using all the modern sports coverage tools such as screen graphics and instant replay. Michael Buckley and Greg Behrendt could be a good host duo, especially if their hair can be brought under control.

The show would also feature rotating special guests such as Dr. Sue, Dr. Drew, Dr. John Gray, Neil Straus, and other relationship experts, plus a roving on-field reporter (the usual hot chick with big breasts, raspy voice, and a slightly checkered past brandishing an oversized, overly phallic microphone). She would interview participants of interest as they move to their next date.

The main point to make about this show is that there are no winners or losers, well... at least not in the usual game show sense of these words. This is more about the spectacle, the event - People meeting People. There would be a live audience, a DJ, lights etc. and the show would be filmed at a hot club.

Every episode ends with a big dance party.

INTERNET TIE IN - Everyone wants this so bad!

The show would tour from city to city, and would be promoted like a big party with a MTV Spring Break vibe, single people flocking to it for the chance to be on TV, meet other singles, and party. Participants would be chosen from the crowd like the Price is Right, and casting would be fairly loose. Every person chosen to be a participant would be given a profile on the MasterDaters singles networking/dating site in a special "as seen on TV" section (obviously, this could also be worked out as a partnership with Facebook or Myspace).

Everyone else who comes out will be strongly encouraged to join the MasterDaters site etc. and they will all have to go to the MasterDaters sight the next day to check out the branded Cobra-Snake-like photos of themselves from the crazy after party.

Unlike other dating shows that are very LA-centric until they run out of people in LA claiming not to be actors, this show would reach out to the rest of the country. You like someone you see on the show they shot in your city, you can go online and contact them. Plus, the large amount of contestants on each episode would present a wide variety of interest for the viewing public.

Get this show on TV, and get your diamond bedazzled checkbook out to write me a check with lots of zeros involved. This is going to make someone a ton of money because done right this show can tie together live events, television broadcasts, and web content in a very cohesive and powerful way that sponsors will be fighting tooth and nail to get a piece of, and after all, that's what it's all about, gettin a piece!

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P.P.S. Check out my interview on Courtesy Flush. Click Here.

P.P.P.S. Check out my interview on The Molls Show. Click Here.

P.P.P.P.S. Check out my interview on TBTL live tonight 8pm Pacific or recorded if you aren't reading this on 6/22/09. Click Here.

P.P.P.P.P.S. If you want the PDF one sheet for MasterDaters, contact me through Twitter.