Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Hoarders Billionaire Edition

Our country, nay... our world is in financial turmoil, and guess who has been thinking about this problem. Yeah, me, Chuck McCarthy.

I don't have all the answers, but I do think I have come up with an idea that could help all of us out, and it is very simple.

Most of us think of billionaires as being more fortunate than the rest of us, but have you ever stopped to wonder why all these super rich people have such giant houses? Have so many giant houses?

They have giant houses, because giant houses have giant garages.

These super rich people are suffering from a terrible and debilitating disease... Many, if not all, of these super rich people are compulsive hoarders suffering from disposophobia. The houses, the boats, the cars, the diamonds, the shoes, the gold nuggets, the sports teams, the Faberge eggs, the paintings, the sculptures, the copies of the constitution, and even the billions of dollars they have in the bank are all signifiers of their inability to let go of things.

It is only because these people have maids, managers, housekeepers, butlers to keep all their crap in order and the ability to buy or build larger and larger houses, that they are able to hide the illness from everyone.

What the world needs is Hoarders Billionaire Edition to help all the billionaires in the world with their compulsive hoarding.

Only one or two of you might have the TV production chops to make this happen, but this idea can help everyone, for it is my belief that if all of these billionaires are cured, trickle down economics will actually work.

Beyond helping everyone in the world by helping these billionaires get rid of millions of dollars of things they don't need, cleaning out billions from cluttered bank accounts, and helping free up capitol that the rest of the world might actually need, this show could be the start of making you into a super rich person.

Think about it. This show would basically be a cross between Hoarders (super popular) and Cribs (super popular) and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous (super popular and fabulous).

You don't have to be as smart as Soulja Boy to know this is a good idea. People love to see how super rich people live just as much as the love seeing rats living in someone's living room and hundreds of boxes of light bulbs stacked in the bathroom of a two bedroom Brooklyn apartment.

This show will be a hit!

Do it, and please, if you become super rich because of this, send me some of that money, or encourage billionaires you have on the show to send me some of the money they are trying to get rid of.

P.S. I am on Twitter still: @ideasbychuck

P.P.S. I am still Hollywood Acting. If you want to be my Hollywood agent, go here.

P.P.P.S. Let me know if you have any want to be my personal historian.

P.P.P.P.S. Dear Billionaires, Don't let Imelda Marcos take the fall for you all. You know you have a problem too. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Murder Murder She Wrote

Some of you may have started to wonder if I have been murdered. Well, I haven't been murdered. If I had been murdered, I wouldn't be able to write this.

Sadly, I have become caught up in being a Hollywood Actor, and as a Hollywood Actor, thinking too much can really get in the way, especially when the Hollywood Acting job is to lay in a bed and drool.

Sometimes, I do imagine being murdered though. I don't know anyone who doesn't have these thoughts. I just hope that my friends are clever enough to kill me cleverly, so that the only way they could possibly be caught is if say... an old woman who writes crime novels stumbled into my life just before my killer or killers carried out their plan.

Fine! You didn't come here to hear my musings about my own murder (lots of alliteration in that). You came here to get an idea that might make you a millionaire, and here it is.

I have been watching a bunch of murder mystery movies and TV shows etc. and I started wondering what would happen in each case if the murderer didn't just confess at the end, and even when they do confess if that confession would actually be admissible as evidence. Basically, would these murderers actually be convicted in a court of law.

People love court cases... as long as they are not asked to be on the jury or involved in any sort of way that would actually affect them. That's why Nancy Grace has a career. That's why there are dozens of Law & Order shows. That's why Matlock was the man. That's why we have F'N Court TV, or as some people call it, "The House That OJ Built."

Murder Murder She Wrote would be Mystery Science Theater 3000 meets Murder She Wrote meets Court TV. Two lawyers give color commentary and arguments for and against the murderer, arguing as to whether or not they believe the murderer would be convicted based on things like admissibility of evidence, confessions, and witness testimony. Would the jury be sympathetic? Etc. etc. etc...

Of course one of the lawyers would be a hot chick with a bitchy face and the other would be a flamboyantly gay man with more tenacity and sass than Jessica Fletcher herself.

People love Murder She Wrote. People love legal arguments... again as long as they aren't actually involved. Plus, this show would cost almost nothing to produce. You need a green screen, two lawyers, a camera, an editor, and the rights to Murder She Wrote, which is probably almost in the public domain by now. Did I mention that one of the lawyers is a hot chick with a bitchy face, and people love that! Shows get sold based completely on the weight that a hot bitchy face carries.

You can make this a hit show. You can make money off of it. You can send me some of that money. Please?

P.S. I am still on Twitter -@ideasbychuck

P.P.S. I still have another website -

P.P.P.S. I still need money.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Angry Birds Game Show

I am addicted to Angry Birds. I don't have an iPhone. I don't have any kind of phone that I can play it on, but I bum off of other people like my neighbor Kirsten. I can't get enough of Angry Birds. I think many of you know what I am talking about. You know. You know. You KNOW! Your hands are probably shaking right now. You want to stop reading this and start playing Angry Birds, don't you?

DON'T DO IT! Well... wait till you finish reading this.

I have heard all kinds of rumors about an Angry Birds movie, a cartoon, a video game... oh wait, it is a video game. Anyway, I have heard all these rumors, and I don't know how I feel about any of these ideas, but they got me to thinking... and you know, thinking is something I can really do.

What did I think up? What is my new idea?

Duh! The title of this post was kind of a spoiler. I think that the perfect, most amazing, expansion of the Angry Birds universe would be into a game show where families compete for fun and fabulous prizes designed for a specific demographic, prizes like jet skis.

Two families would compete, like I said, for fabulous prizes. The format would be similar to Double Dare, alternating between quiz questions and physical fun!

The quiz rounds would be to win extra ammo and extra building materials, and of course to gain extra knowledge.

After the quiz questions, families would take turns shooting weighted plush stuffed animal versions of the Angry Birds out of a giant slingshot similar to those designed for water balloons, in an attempt to crash the other family's fort filled with giant water balloons filled with slime, rigged to explode at the slightest touch.

The fun would come not only from the shooting, but the building. In each round, both families would be given building materials and time to build a fort to protect their balloons.

The building family would have to stand under a giant bird. If all of their slime balloons get destroyed, the bird poops slime all over them.

Sounds like fun right?! Don't you F'n want to travel to Nickelodeon Studios for a chance to be a contestant?!

This game doesn't have to be for kids only. Adults love to build stuff too! The show could possibly be designed in such a way where the competing teams are made up of co-workers from various small businesses. Teams would compete not just for fabulous prizes, but also to help advertise their bicycle shop, coffee shop, or adult bookstore.

People are loving these kinds of shows these days! Take this idea! Talk to the people at Rovio. Talk to the people at Nickelodeon, ABC Family, or Bravo, and make this show the cornerstone of your game show empire. Make millions of dollars... and don't forget me. Send me a little bit of money, or at least some fabulous prizes. Please.

P.S. You can subscribe to Ideas By Chuck. Really. It is easy. Click Here.

P.P.S. Several of my ideas have come to life in one way or another recently. You should read back through my old ideas. Just because they are my old ideas, doesn't mean they aren't new to the world. Your fortune could be buried here in my blog.

P.P.P.S. I am on Twitter - @ideasbychuck

P.P.P.P.S. If you have no idea what Angry Birds is, and you are angry at me about this idea, watch this.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Lou Ouija's Restaurant

Sometimes... I feel like I can see the future. Building on my knowledge of the now, I see clearly the winding trails of possibility and fill in any gaps with my imagination.

Others though, see the future through the eyes of ghosts and spirits. This is for them.

People love theme restaurants. Even restaurants without blatant gimicky themes like Hooters, TGI Friday's, or Hard Rock Cafe still have themes. Sometimes the theme is as simple as the type of food. Indian, Ethiopian, or German, people go to restaurants wanting an experience.

Lou Ouija's would be a paranormal themed Mediterranean/Eastern European fusion restaurant, dimly lit and decorated like an opium den mixed with a gypsy camp and a Victorian library, curtains and tapestries, dark wood, and private booths enclosed in tents. The waiters and waitresses would be dressed like sexy gypsies. Most importantly, the tables would look like Ouija boards and customers, being guided by their server/medium, would choose what they want to eat using a Ouiji planchette or pointer.

The tables would either have the menu items on it or just a set of numbers that would correspond to various dishes, so that patrons would choose blindly. I know that the cartoon character I used for the graphic does not scream upscale, but I have to get your attention somehow. This would be a very upscale place.

Over 75% of the population of the United States believes in the paranormal in one form or another. Haunted houses, haunted attractions, psychic 900 numbers, Tarot card readers, and countless numbers of TV shows and movies tap into this bottomless market year after year without falter. Plus, Ouija boards are still popular, even among men with "bacne."

Let's talk marketing.

Sure there will be people not so happy about an occult restaurant opening in their neighborhood, but this is the best part of this idea. With Lou Ouija's, you will be opening a restaurant that will possibly get national news coverage right off the bat when some overly zealous christian group announces a boycott of it. Sure, you deny any and all satanic connections publicly, but you circulate rumors that the head chef was born to a woman with thirteen toes, and you have a destination restaurant built overnight! Open several locations around the world, always in cities, and always near sites of tragedies...

When you make a million dollars off this idea, please send me some money... or you might end up being haunted by my ghost. You wouldn't want that now would you?

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck is easier than contacting the dead. Click Here.

P.P.S. If you want to read a paranormal, erotic, mystery, thriller, comedy about Anna Nicole Smith's Ghost, click here.

P.P.P.S. I am still on Twitter. @ideasbychuck

P.P.P.P.S. If you see me in your living room, it's because I am a Hollywood Actor now, not because I am a ghost.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Fresh Chuck Of Bel-Air

People love a good rags to riches story. From Little Orphan Annie to Different Strokes, and all the Brewster's Millions in between, people love hearing about a downtrodden ragamuffins suddenly being lifted out of the gutter and put on a pedestal. Pretty Woman, King Ralph, Cinderella, and the list goes on.

Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air was a rags to riches story, and a huge hit show, and when Will Smith went back to the well with Pursuit of Happyness, it was an even bigger hit.

I feel like I am beating a dead horse, but I want to make sure we are all on the same page. You get it, right?

Here is the idea. Fresh Chuck Of Bel-Air: a reality show about me being adopted by a super rich family and going to live with them in their mansion, being taught how to be rich etc.

I know what you are thinking, "Chuck, you are a grown ass man. You look like you are homeless. You probably have bad breath. Why would anyone want to adopt you?"

First of all, I don't have bad breath. My oral hygiene is impeccable. Second of all, being a grown ass man has nothing to do with it. People love to see people of all ages stumble into fame and fortune. Third of all, me looking like a homeless person can only help make this show a hit. Just look at My Fair Lady, and don't be so careless as to forget Down And Out In Beverly Hills.

Still not convinced?

Really? Why not?

What you talkin' 'bout Willis?!

Fine! I'll try EVEN harder to see the stars from the gutter.

Look. Almost all reality shows center around this concept already. American Idol, The Apprentice (before they started hiring celebrities), Project Runway, Jersey Shore, all these shows are about getting plucked out of obscurity and being placed on a pedestal and or getting punched in the face. You know what I am saying.

Fresh Chuck Of Bel-Air would be Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air meets Down And Out In Beverly Hills meets Strangers With Candy. I wasn't a teen runaway and I have never really done hard drugs, but it would be funny like that, the part about me being adopted.

Take this show idea and run with it. Find me a rich family, and make it a big hit! Don't forget to give me some of the money you make off of me. I know I will be part of a rich family by then, but they will probably appreciate me pulling my weight none the less.

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck has not, not been proven to cure blindness. Subscribe now HERE.

P.S.S. Dear Kardashian Family, this is your chance to have yet another TV show. Don't pass it up!

P.S.S.S. I am on Twitter... yes... still. @ideasbychuck

P.S.S.S.S. Feel free to tell your friend's mom about my blog. I know she might not be a big internet user, but if she has a computer and can get on the internet at all, she can probably figure out how to subscribe to my blog. Maybe you could help her out. Think about it.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Robot Wars 2.0: LEAGUE NET

Do you remember Robot Wars? Do you remember Gyromite? Do you like video games? Do you know anything about the Predator Drone? Have you read Ender's Game? If you answered yes to all of these questions, you might already have an idea as to where I am going with this. If you answered no to all of these questions, you might not be interested in this idea at all. Stop reading!

Are you still there? Fine... I'll try to recap and explain everything, so that you will see that this idea is not only brilliant and doable, but every part has been done before. What I am telling you is that this idea... this idea is kind of like putting peanut butter and chocolate together.

Robot Wars was created by George Lucas henchman, Marc Thorpe and basically consisted of moderately crappy remote control robots with pick axes and circular saws going at each other in an arena full of obstacles designed to make the battles more interesting. They turned the live event into a TV show. If you never saw it, imagine a crappy RC robot version of the movie Gladiator. It was fairly entertaining, but the cool factor wore off pretty quickly. The fact that these robots were being made in people's garages and the basements of college science buildings was part of the appeal, but also part of the downfall. Okay it's a remote controlled shop vacuum. Big deal. Furthermore, if my memory is at all accurate, the crappiest, simplest, and most boring robots always seemed to win.

Speaking of crappy robots, Gyromite was one of two crappy Nintendo games designed to be played with a crappy robot named ROB. You had to guide the crappy robot through tasks using your Nintendo controller. Like I said, the game was crappy, but the concept of controlling a robot with your video game system is key to this idea.

Remote controlling robots has been taken to the next level with devices like the Predator Drone, unmanned, remote control aircraft that the U.S. Military has been using for several years now to spy on and take out our enemies. These drones are controlled by soldiers sitting behind desks, nice and safe back at the base, just like the kids in Ender's Game, a sci-fi book series about kids in the future remote controlling fighter ships to destroy an alien race.

Man, that was a lot of nerd to unleash on you... Are you okay? Can you go on? Should we rest?

Did you catch any World Cup games? Me neither. I don't have cable, and I couldn't seem to get up early enough... Oh you want to keep going? Okay.

So, here is the idea: Team up with one of the big video game system companies, like Sony, Nintendo, or Microsoft to create a video game called Robot Wars 2.0: League Net - a robot fighting game that could be played online like so many other games these days. Sony would probably be best company to team up with, because the robots in the game need to simulations of real robots. Yeah, the robots in the game would be exactly like real life robots. You see where this is going?

I'm sure that with the backing of the Sony robotics division, you can come up with some better robots than the rest of us Homer Simpsons in our garages. These robots need to be cool and customizable- different weapons, colors, decals, wheels, etc.

Players will battle it out online every week in the virtual world with their customized robots, winning points, buying add ons, repairing damages, and having fun. At the end of the week, the players with the highest scores get a chance to battle it out live on TV (maybe G4 Network would be a good fit), controlling real life versions of their robots, right down to the decals. This would be a full on event with sponsors and prizes, but the contestants would control their robots right from their living rooms, using their familiar video game system controllers just like in the virtual world.

What have I just handed you? A hit video game and a hit TV show with a built in audience and out of control marketing and licensing opportunities. I didn't even say anything about possible government funding... Yeah... you heard me. Think about it... Plus, once you have this under your belt, and robotics advances just a little further, you will be perfectly positioned to bring the world the Robot Pillow Fighting League.

Please, please, please, when this makes you the richest person in the world, can you please remember to give me enough money to make me like the 1000th richest person in the world? Please. I promise not to park my yacht in your spot.

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck has been called a good idea in its self. Click here.

P.P.S. I still need a job. Most companies seem to have a hard time believing that I am smart.

P.P.P.S. I am on Twitter. @ideasbychuck

P.P.P.P.S. If you know anyone that might want to hire me, send them here.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Gulf Oil Spill Silver Lining

Everything has a silver lining. The BP oil spill is no exception. Millions, if not billions of dollars are being made by PR firms, advertising agencies, and media distributors in BP's attempts to save their image. Oil companies and the US government were forced to take Kevin Costner seriously. Furthermore, though I have no data to back this up, I am sure that chocolate animal sales have gone through the roof. Now it's your turn to join the silver lining of one of the worst ecological disasters in US history, so get pumped... get oil pumped!

As some of you know, I'm an artist. I'm actually a pretty good artist. It's true. No really... seriously. Fine! You don't have to believe me. It is not important, because you don't have to be a great artist, a good artist, or have any artistic talent at all to make this idea work.

What's the idea?

Collect oil from the BP oil spill, and use it to paint giant black and brown depressing paintings... oil paintings. Then you can have a show in cooperation with someone like Greenpeace or the Audobon Society and donate a portion of the sales to helping clean up the oil spill. You will have people eating out of your hands.

Rich people love art that means something. Rich people love art that has a story behind it, especially a depressing story that makes them feel like they have experienced something more terrible than a chemical peel. Rich people love to feel like they are helping solve problems by drinking wine, looking fabulous, and buying things to fill up their mansions.

The most important thing about making this idea a success and launching your art career is giving the show an important and meaningful name and naming the pieces accordingly. Lucky for you, you know me, and I have some ideas for names.

Show titles:

Oil Paintings
Deepwater Poison
Screams of the Sea
Oil and Water
Red Black & Brown

Painting titles:

sad sea
death of a bird
bird fish dead
black gold: black death
crying over spilled oil

The really genius part of this whole thing is that you can probably get BP to buy a bunch of these paintings by telling them that one of their competitors such as Exxon is interested in buying several of them.

Do this. Become a famous artist. Make tons of money and send me some.

P.S. My mom isn't subscribed to Ideas By Chuck, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be. Click here.

P.P.S. All of my art is packed with meaning and stories, so if you are a rich person, you should buy some of it.

P.P.P..S. Did you ever think that someone would put millions of dollars into a project involving Kevin Costner and the ocean again? Also, did you know that Water World cost more money to produce than the NASA Mars Rover program.

P.P.P.P.S. I actually liked Water World. Dennis Hopper was always an amazing villain.