Frankenstein's Feelings Blog

I have been writing this blog of mine, Ideas By Chuck, for about four months now. My ideas have been called genius by several publications. I have been on the radio twice (1st time 2nd time) to discuss my ideas, and I have an upcoming interview in Inventors Digest.

But...

I still haven't seen any progress on any of my ideas from you. I would think that one of my billions of readers would have the resources, the guts, the drive, or the desperation to take one of my ideas and make it reality.

I am not trying to make you feel bad. I have no right to try to make you feel bad. After all, I haven't made any of my ideas reality.

I think I just need to give you guys something totally doable, something I have done, because I know that once one person takes one of my ideas and has success with it, everyone will be racing to make all my other ideas reality.

Does that make sense?

Baby steps.

Here is the idea.

I came up with the idea for another blog called Frankenstein's Feelings. It would be more of a traditional blog outlining daily events, but written in Frankenstein's voice. No more than one paragraph. Here is a sample blog entry:

"Frankenstein go to mall. Mall crowded. Make Frankenstein mad! Frankenstein go to Foot Locker. Girl at Foot Locker cute. Frankenstein never get cute girl like her. Frankenstein like Cinnabon."

Each blog entry would be accompanied by a childlike drawing of something from the day.

I could totally write this blog, but I have too many other blogs to keep up, and I don't have any feelings, nor do I ever leave my apartment.

I checked on the domain FrankensteinsFeelings.com - totally available. If you want to help me out, you can even get your web hosting and domain registration from these guys - Globat.com I am trying to get them to pay me money.

You write this blog. You make blog big hit... Fire BAD!

P.S. You can still subscribe to Ideas By Chuck. Just click here.

P.P.S. If you start Frankenstein's Feelings, having a big link to Ideas By Chuck would be the right thing to do.

Vibrating Yoga Ball

As always, I have not done a patent check, or super extensive research, but if my trusty friend google stays true, this has not been invented, or in the very least, is not on the market yet.

That said, if none of you take this idea and make millions off of it, I will lose faith in what I am doing. I will give up on this blog and move to Colorado to work as swing-set repair man.

Here is the idea.

Everyone loves yoga balls. They are great to do sit-ups and other exercises on, and they are great when it comes to stretching out your back. Stretching is important for muscle recovery and overall body health. A gentle massage is also beneficial to muscles etc. I am just talking out of my ass here, but I am sure that you can go dig up about a thousand studies that will back me up.

Why not combine the yoga ball with a massager?

Simple.

I thought of a couple of different ways to do this, though you might be able to come up with a better design.

What I came up with is a vibration cradle for the ball to sit in. This way the cradle can plug into the wall, but you can still take the ball off the cradle and use it for exercises that need more ball movement.


I also think that the best way to make the ball vibrate is with a powerful deep bass speaker. This way, if you chose, the unit could interface with your computer, iPod, or iPhone, and vibrate to the beats of your favorite underground dark side London bass dance vampire trance music, while you stretch or work out.

I really think that this is a great idea. If you take this and make this, you will become a millionaire, possibly a billionaire. It would be great if you could send me some of that money. Just a little bit. I need to hire a personal trainer.

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck stops babies from crying.

P.P.S. Commenting on Ideas By Chuck is fun and easy. You don't have to give any information or sign up for anything.

P.P.P.S. If you are working on bringing one of my ideas into reality, I would love to know. Please write me or leave a comment letting me know, letting all of us know how it is going.

Rock Band Manager

There is a ton of money in the video game industry. I am not just talking out of my ass on this one. You can look it up. Billions of dollars.

A while back, I predicted to myself that video game soundtracks were going to be the last lucrative outlet for record companies and bands as far as recorded materials are concerned. Dubbing and bootlegging video games is still much harder than uploading or downloading an MP3.

Not only did some video game manufacturers recognize this fact, but they figured out how to exploit it, to own it, to dive into it like Scrooge McDuck, by creating video games such as Guitar Hero and Rock Band.

These video games have become immensely popular. People love to pretend like they are rock stars, to sing and play along with famous songs, and now, new songs from up and coming bands.

Lets take it to eleven.

Here is the idea - Rock Band Manager, an online virtual world/community very similar to the real music industry.

Bands would promote their live shows to be performed via webcam.

Bands would create flyers for their band. Paste them up in a 3-D virtual city, promote themselves on message boards etc. Moreover, there would be venues with tie ins to famous real venues such as the Roxy and a resurrected virtual CBGB.

Here is the important part. There would be real money involved.

The bands would have to pay for flyers, and any other virtual promotional tool inside the system. And, fans would have to pay a cover charge to see these shows, but no ticket price could be over a dollar, and the flyers etc. cost would be in the one tenth of a cent range.

Why is this good for Harmonix / MTV / EA? Well, they would take a cut from all ticket sales. They would make money from selling this plug in or new version of the game. They would make money selling not only flyers etc. to the bands, but advertising space in the virtual world to everyone from Allstate to Zildjian.

If you work for Harmonix, MTV, or EA games, you should try to bring this up in a meeting, or you should gather a group of your fellow programmers, quit your jobs, form a new video game company, develop this idea, sell it back to MTV and EA, and retire to a tropical island.

Everyone wants to be a rock star, but it is way more fun to be a rock star with the whole world watching.

P.S. You can still subscribe to Ideas By Chuck.

P.P.S. You can comment on Ideas By Chuck anonymously without entering any kind of info about yourself.

P.P.P.S. If this is your first night at Ideas By Chuck, you must go back and read all the ideas.

Bucket List The TV Show

I haven't seen "The Bucket List," starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, nor do I want to see it. I almost needed a bucket to throw up in after seeing the trailer.

I appreciate both actors. Morgan Freeman is one of the only people in the world who can convincingly pull off a braided leather belt and jeans, and I don't think I need to make up any excuses for liking Jack Nicholson.

This might sound a little "Andy Rooney," but, I don't want to see two actors portray characters going around doing things that they wanted to do before dying, especially not actors that I know have done or will get to do everything that they could ever want.

But, what I would like to see is real old people doing crazy things that they wanted to do before they "kick the bucket."

Each episode a group of senior citizens would get a chance to live out one of their life long desires, like sky diving, riding horses on the beach, visiting Mt. Kilimanjaro, meeting the President, and other things old people want to do.

If you wanted to make it a little more dramatic, you could choose 5 people who wanted to go sky diving, and 5 people who wanted to read poetry in front of an audience, and make all 10 of them do both things.

The people who aren't scared of jumping out of a plane might be scared to get up in front of an audience, and the other way around.

If you wanted to make it really crazy dramatic, you could take 10 people, each one with a different experience that they wanted to have before "kicking the bucket," and make them all do all 10 things.

You get the right group of crotchety yet lovable old people traveling the world and fighting over who gets the arm rest, and you my friend, will have a hit show. People love old people, and they are great for reality TV because they will say anything, have strong opinions, and many times have no purpose in life, just like every single person that has ever been on the Real World since Season 3.

If you are pitching this and someone says, "No one wants to watch a bunch of old people," hit these points:

1. Golden girls - HIT Show!
2. Rudy from Season 1 of Survivor - HIT Show!
3. Andy Rooney - HIT Show!
4. Talk Sex with Sue Johansen - HIT Show!
5. Larry King Live - Hit Show!

I think Bam Margera would make the best host for this. He has proven himself as a host, he has mass appeal, and he is good with old people.

People love old people! You love your grandma don't you? Get out there and pitch or produce a TV show that she will love! Maybe she will stop asking what happened to "Murder She Wrote."

P.S. The old Ideas By Chuck are just as good as the new Ideas By Chuck. If you are new here, you should go check out my past ideas. You can't know where you are going, if you don't know where you are coming from.

P.P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck will make you feel good.

P.P.P.S. I didn't say Bam Margera should be the host just because I found that picture.

Doritos Cereal

Why?

Why not?

Doritos are delicious. I don't see why they wouldn't be just as tasty in cereal form.

If you are an underling at Frito-Lay, or if you are Indra K. Nooyi, the CEO of PepsiCo, you should take notice and make Doritos Cereal a reality.


Okay, so you don't work for Doritos, have you ever thought that maybe there should be more of a dinner cereal? I have. Why aren't there any dinner cereals? Why are all cereals sweet?

Maybe someone should work on some dinner cereals. Maybe that person is you.

I want to see some dinner cereals on the market by the end of the year. Get out there and make this idea a reality.

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck is still legal in all 13 original colonies of the United States.

P.P.S. Telling your friends about Ideas By Chuck is okay. If you aren't going to use any of my ideas to become rich and powerful, you might as well tell your friends about them, and let them become rich and powerful. Maybe they will still be friends with you after they are rich and powerful, and they will invite you to their extravagant parties. Maybe they will invite me to their extravagant parties.

Dry Erase Bored?

I have been going to the same coffee shop on a regular basis for the past year or so. I have come to recognize some some of my fellow patrons, the regulars. It also seems like they are all working on similar futile pursuits: writing scripts, writing blogs, looking at myspace, looking at facebook, surfing craigslist, pretending to think, thinking, writing emails, and waiting for that one call or email that will change everything.

I want to reach out to them. When I see someone staring at the same page of their movie script about two friends caught up in an alien drug cartel's evil plot to smuggle human hair back to their own world, struggling with what should happen next, I want to reach out to them, to help them. When I overhear a couple of girls discussing a guy who did or didn't do something, I want to tell them why. When I hear a teacher support group talking about striking and what they can do to gain leverage, I want to help.

Two heads are better than one. Three heads are better than two. What am I talking about? Group-think. Networking. Helping yourself by helping others.

Here is the idea.

A coffee shop, maybe one you own or go to, should put up a dry erase board up where everyone can see it. When people come in, they can write their name, email or IM, and what they are working on.

Other people in the coffee shop can then contact that person, shoot a couple of emails back and forth etc., and if they both feel like it, meet in person by getting up and going over to the other person's table.

When you leave the coffee shop, you erase your info from the board.

It is all totally voluntary, and anyone can use a dry erase board.

Maybe you have something to say that would help someone else with an ad campaign for edible underwear, and they know a guy that would be perfect to produce your one act play about heroin addicted penguins (he has probably been looking for a penguin project, because penguins are so hot right now). Helping yourself by helping others.

Ideas would be traded, connections made, and the coffee shop you go to or own will become a powerhouse of productivity, fueled by mocha lattes of course.

P.S One time, a person who subscribed to Ideas By Chuck found five dollars shortly after subscribing. Just something to think about.

Sean Astin Film Festival

Can you name the actor that has starred in a multitude of award winning films portraying characters beloved around the world, there are action figures of, is the voice of a hit cable TV show about Meerkats, and yet has no name recognition at all?

Can you?

No.

That's because Sean Astin is the most underrated and under appreciated actor in Hollywood, nay, the world. Had you ever even heard the name Sean Astin before I just said it? Probably not, yet I am sure you have heard names like Goonies and Lord of the Rings.

I propose a Sean Astin Film Festival, so that the world can partake and revel in his glory, in the shining ray of sunshine that is Sean Astin's smile.

Let me name some movies that would be played at the festival, so that you can start nodding your head in agreement.

The Goonies
Bulworth
Courage Under Fire
Memphis Belle
Toy Soldiers
Encino Man
Like Father Like Son
Rudy
Where the Day Takes You
Staying Together
War of the Roses
Safe Passage
White Water Summer
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

If you aren't starting to agree...I don't like to toss around the word "crazy" but...

We would even show 50 First Dates and the audience would be encouraged to boo, hiss, and throw things at the screen whenever Sean Astin isn't on screen.

Plus, this isn't a movie, but have you seen Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet? Sean Astin is the narrator. It's like Lost meets Days Of Our Lives. A marathon showing of Meerkat Manor in a dark room made to look like meerkat home would be an amazing addition to the festival, and it could be sponsored by Animal Planet. Maybe there could even be some meerkats running around in the wall behind plexiglass like a giant ant farm. Okay, that's taking it too far.

Of course people would be encouraged to dress up like their favorite character from their favorite Sean Astin movie. I will probably dress like Andy from Goonies or Gandolf from The Lord Of The Rings, anything that puts me in a skirt.

Get with me people. Fight for this one! Go out there and find sponsors. I already gave you one, Animal Planet.

Find a venue. Park City is nice in the spring, and there are plenty of theaters.

Make this happen! The world needs to know who is bringing them so much happiness. The world needs to know Sean Astin.

P.S. Subscribing to my blog has not been proven to cause cancer. Go do it!

Pizza Scissors

My friend recently presented me with a "Pizza Challenge." She challenged me to come up with some new way to make, eat, or market pizza, because it seems like pizza is where the eating innovation happens. We have seen everything from pizza rolls to pizza on bagels, tasted everything from cheese in the middle to cheese in the crust, heard everything from "avoid the Noid," to "better ingredients, better pizza." What could I come up with.

Something popped into my head. Two words. Pizza Scissors.

I started thinking about pizza scissors. Would they be a serving utensil built into a pair of scissors and how? What would the advantages be? Why would people want that? I thought about it, and eventually decided that it wasn't the best idea, but I liked the sound of pizza scissors so much.

Try saying it out loud.

Pizza scissors.

Louder.

PIZZA SCISSORS.

It is so much fun to say. People would love to say it. People would remember it. Why not push this idea into the marketing realm.

Then, I looked up "pizza scissors" on Google. Wow. Someone actually made pizza scissors, actually a couple of different companies, with different designs.

What does that tell you?

Right, even my bad ideas are good enough for someone to put a couple of hundred thousand of dollars into.

Here is the marketing idea that I came up with, that I think is far superior to the actual pizza scissor device. If you work for Pizza Hut, Dominos, Papa John's, or any other pizza chain hoping to make their mark on the pizza kingdom, you should listen up. Roll out a new super, deluxe, six cheese pizza, so covered in cheese that it is impossible to free slices from the pie without the use of...

Pizza Scissors, small plastic, possibly pizza shaped, scissors that you conveniently provide with each pizza to help people...wait for it...

...cut the cheese.

Maybe you do, maybe you don't ever say "cut the cheese," but people will think it, and people love to say it.

There you go. A marketing campaign, all be it "cheesy," chalked full of phrases that people love to hear and love to say, things people will remember, neatly wrapped up and delivered to you in less than 15 minutes.

PIZZA SCISSORS!

BRING ME THE PIZZA SCISSORS!

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck is easier than you might think.

P.P.S. If you are working on bringing one of my past ideas to life, please let me know and give me updates on your progress. If you try and succeed with one of my ideas, it will make others more likely to give it a go.