Sean Astin Film Festival

Can you name the actor that has starred in a multitude of award winning films portraying characters beloved around the world, there are action figures of, is the voice of a hit cable TV show about Meerkats, and yet has no name recognition at all?

Can you?

No.

That's because Sean Astin is the most underrated and under appreciated actor in Hollywood, nay, the world. Had you ever even heard the name Sean Astin before I just said it? Probably not, yet I am sure you have heard names like Goonies and Lord of the Rings.

I propose a Sean Astin Film Festival, so that the world can partake and revel in his glory, in the shining ray of sunshine that is Sean Astin's smile.

Let me name some movies that would be played at the festival, so that you can start nodding your head in agreement.

The Goonies
Bulworth
Courage Under Fire
Memphis Belle
Toy Soldiers
Encino Man
Like Father Like Son
Rudy
Where the Day Takes You
Staying Together
War of the Roses
Safe Passage
White Water Summer
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

If you aren't starting to agree...I don't like to toss around the word "crazy" but...

We would even show 50 First Dates and the audience would be encouraged to boo, hiss, and throw things at the screen whenever Sean Astin isn't on screen.

Plus, this isn't a movie, but have you seen Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet? Sean Astin is the narrator. It's like Lost meets Days Of Our Lives. A marathon showing of Meerkat Manor in a dark room made to look like meerkat home would be an amazing addition to the festival, and it could be sponsored by Animal Planet. Maybe there could even be some meerkats running around in the wall behind plexiglass like a giant ant farm. Okay, that's taking it too far.

Of course people would be encouraged to dress up like their favorite character from their favorite Sean Astin movie. I will probably dress like Andy from Goonies or Gandolf from The Lord Of The Rings, anything that puts me in a skirt.

Get with me people. Fight for this one! Go out there and find sponsors. I already gave you one, Animal Planet.

Find a venue. Park City is nice in the spring, and there are plenty of theaters.

Make this happen! The world needs to know who is bringing them so much happiness. The world needs to know Sean Astin.

P.S. Subscribing to my blog has not been proven to cause cancer. Go do it!

Sex Sells Stuff

Sometimes I feel like one of the scientists that invented the atom bomb. I have ideas that are so brilliant, yet terrible. I wonder if I should keep them to myself, but then I remember that these ideas are marketing ideas, and eventually some terrible person with no ethics will think them up on their own.

This is one such idea.

A few years ago I read an article about the energy drink explosion. Everyone and their brother was trying to cash in on and chisel away small percentages of Red Bull's billion dollar energy drink market. The big boys such as Coca Cola and Pepsi were making headway, but so were smaller start-up drink companies. You can't turn around today without seeing a new energy drink with bombastic name, wanting to put it's self in your face. The article highlighted one such company, and my mind started moving.

What advantage does a small independent company have over giants like Coca Cola or Pepsi?

Where can this company go that the giants can't, like a flea hopping merrily through the crack under a door, leaving the wolf outside in the cold?

Suddenly it came to me.

Porn.

Product placement in pornographic films.

The big boys like Coca Cola and Pepsi can't do it. They can't have their names attached to pornography. KFC might be "finger licking good," but that is as far as the licking goes at PepsiCo. You can "do the Dew," but you can't do you know who. These companies have too many other brands, labels, and divisions to ever even think about getting involved in porn and tarnishing their image, but the small guys, the start-ups, the boot-licking-nobodies have nothing to lose.

I thought, and still think that energy drinks are a perfect fit for product placement in porn, but it could work just as well for many other adult oriented products such as alcohol, guns, clothing, pizza, and condoms. These are all things already incorporated into porn story lines. Haven't you ever wondered why no condom makers put the money into buying product placement in porn?

Okay, maybe I am the only one who has thought about it, but I know I am not the only one that has ever watched porn. Billions of men and some women around the world check an occasional skin flick...every day. Billions of people is a lot of people. Imagine all those people seeing your product and associating it with sex. Sex sells stuff.

Furthermore, people are more likely to watch porn over and over again. I am willing to bet large sums of money that "Blow Job Impossible 4" got more repeat views than "Mission Impossible 3."

Moreover, the best thing about product placement in porn is that love is an international language. Just like action movies, pornographic films transcend, no, demolish language barriers. A roundhouse kick is a roundhouse kick in Japanese, German, or English. I don't know how to say BJ in Russian, but I don't have to, to watch a porcelain skinned mail order bride give the gift of one.

The pornographic film industry has been giving away plugs for years with major results, but no one has seemed to catch on to the fact that Debbie made the Dallas Cowboys into contenders or that Ron Jeremy was responsible for middle aged men being into video games.

If you have a product or a service that you don't care about church groups rallying against, get out there and do some hardcore product placement in the most wide open, spread wide open, waiting for it, media market on earth. Being first has it's advantages. If you are the first company to use product placement in porn as a marketing tool, you will find yourself at the center of a hurricane of free press and publicity. Go get em tiger!

P.S. Here is an idea. Subscribe to my sexy blog. I don't have a real-deal job where I can dateup (flip it and reverse it) my blog on a regular basis from my throne, so you should subscribe and get told like a bad boy every time I update. Just an idea.