Friday, May 29, 2009

Zingerade Spicy Lemonade

Do you want to start your own bottled drink company, but you're worried that the market is saturated? There are tons of teas, tonics, sodas, sport drinks, colas, waters, ales, punches, potions, and elixirs out there on the market. Where could you possibly fit in? What kind of market share could you possibly hope to dig out of that mountain of refreshment?

You have your heart set on starting your own drink company don't you? Don't you? Yes you do. Yes you do. Don't you?

Lucky for you, you know me, and I can tell you a drink that no one is bottling, no one is marketing, no one is selling, and yet hundreds of thousands of people are drinking. What is it?

The master cleanse lemonade, made from lemons, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and of course, water. If anyone is selling this pre-made, I can't find it. I would brand it "Zingerade." is available, it sounds cool, and conveys the general vibe of the product. It is slightly cliche, but so was Powerade, and that was put out by CocaCola. Give me a couple of million bucks and I will come up with a better name (that is an offer for CocaCola too).

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that the master cleanse lemonade sounds really gross. Well, it is actually pretty good. I have never been on the master cleanse, but for some reason every woman that I know tries to do it at least three times a year. Most of the time they fail, but I have had many chances to taste the spicy lemonade, and I like to take chances. It has a definite zing and a taste that just keeps giving. A unique flavor is hard to find, but this is one that is sitting right there giving you the finger.

Even if it tasted like total crap, it has medicinal properties. We all know that if you tell people something is good for them, it can taste like poop mixed with tartar sauce, and they will still drink it or eat it. Cayenne pepper quells hunger and boosts your metabolism. You don't have to be on a seven day fast to want to drink something that will stop you from eating seven twinkies between lunch and dinner while helping you burn more calories.

The convenience of this drink would attract anyone doing the master cleanse, and though it might sound crazy, there are tons of people out there not on the master cleanse or trying to lose weight who would drink Zingerade. People who smoke or drink heavily crave spicy foods because their taste buds have been killed off (I know all you drinkers are already thinking about what this would taste like mixed with vodka). Why do you think Bloody Marys are so popular?

Even if you hate the product just think of the marketing campaigns.

"Spice up your lemonade! Spice up your life! Zingerade!"

"Zingerade! The Juice with real Juice!"

"Jump-Start Your Lemonade! Zingerade!"

"Drink Zingerade or DIE FAT AND ALONE!"

You don't have to be a genius to see that this has some real potential. Make this idea happen. Make some money. Make your bed. Make out a check to me for two million dollars.
P.S. You really should subscribe to Ideas By Chuck. If you don't who will?

P.P.S. Zingerade and vodka is great.

P.P.P.S. If I can follow a chair that reports every time someone farts on it, you can follow me. Click here.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Bluetooth Walkie Talkie Headset

This idea is like a very, very, very good brownie recipe. I am basically just telling you the ingredients for success. You don't have to go find a secret ingredient. You don't have to learn a new way to bake the brownies. All you have to do is go get the ingredients and bake them up into the best selling brownies the church bake sale has ever seen, singlehandedly raising the money for the youth group's missionary trip to Belize.

To tell you the truth, I almost didn't put this up as an idea because it feels very simple and specific to TV/Film production, but then I thought back to my Magical Binder idea, which took the world by storm, and I had to share this with the masses as well.

When most people here the two words, "walkie" and "talkie" together, they think about toys in the shape of Mighty Morphing Power Rangers or Hello Kitty with an average life span of about four days and a range from here to the Smith's backyard, but there are people who still use walkie talkies in real life, to do real work. I am one of them.

In TV/Film production we use big, bulky, serious walkie talkies. The walky talkies we use make effective weapons, withstand serious abuse at the hands of some very cranky people, and will pull your pants down if you aren't wearing a belt.

Here is the idea: a bluetooth adapter for walkie talkies that would allow you to use your bluetooth headset with the walkie talkie.

There are several different headset options for the walkie talkies we use. Some are clunky and make you look like Janet Jackson or a drive through manager at McDonald's, while others are much less clunky but make you feel like you have just been plugged into the Matrix. I want a bluetooth solution.

I know the technology exists out there to make this happen, so go make this happen. If you create a bluetooth adapter, send me one. I will make sure that you sell a bunch of them right off the bat through my connections in the world of TV/Film production as well as sexy ninjas.

Also, remember, if you make a lot of money off of this idea, you should send me some of that money. It will make you feel good. Remember Edgar Allen Poe's tale, "The Telltale Heart."

P.S. Subscribe to Ideas By Chuck before I get so famous you hear about me from your grandmother.

P.P.S. Isn't that ninja sexy?

P.P.P.S. You can still follow me on Twitter.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Pickpocket In Your Pocket

"Please, Sir, I want some more... interesting and interactive video games that might help me meet people rather than curl up into a ball of fat and self pity on my couch."

-Oliver Twist (kinda)

Most games are more fun to play with other people. Computers have become pretty good at playing with us, but are not as much fun to tease and cajole with before and after. It's this comradery and social interaction that makes playing games with others more fun, even if you don't quite know your opponent, through game play, you get to know them.

“Games are a compromise between intimacy and keeping intimacy away.”

-Eric Berne (some Canadian guy)

Recently I have been playing a lot of Tetris on my phone (high score on Ultra - 20,092). It keeps me from calling and texting people obsessively when I am alone and lonely. If only I could play Tetris while drunk, if only.

Tons of people play video games on their phones now. In fact, almost everyone with a cell phone has a game on it that they play. The sad thing is, most people play these games when they are alone in a crowd, when they are sitting in a waiting room or on a bus, train, plane, or boat surrounded by dozens of other people.

What if there was a video game that helped people interact?

Here is the idea: A pickpocket video game that would detect other players in a certain radius of the player, via bluetooth. Players would collect money and items that other players would try to steal out from under their noses.

I could spend all day telling you various ideas for rules such as 'puzzle protectors' and 'guard dogs' to make it more exciting etc. but that would take ALL DAY. However, one aspect of the game that might make it more interesting, and would make it more profitable for the video game distributor would be the fact that people would actually pay minuscule amounts of money like five to ten cents for the items in their virtual purse or wallet.

This doesn't seem like much money? If Apple had loaded a game like this onto every iPhone for free from the beginning, there would be around 45 million people out there playing this game. If each one of those people decided to buy a virtual iPhone to put in their virtual pocket for 10cents each... Yeah, $4.5 million.

This kind of game could be designed to work on almost any phone on the market, and almost every phone on the market now has bluetooth built in for headset communication. Of course this kind of idea could easily be adapted to an existing game such as World of Warcraft, as some sort of add on.

P.S. Subscribe to Ideas By Chuck. You will regret it, but like sex with an anonymous stranger.

P.P.S. I still haven't gotten a call from U2. So hurt.

P.P.P.S. Sure it won't be as fun as iBoobs, but what could be?

P.P.P.P.S. Twitter is still being misused by millions, but if there is anyone you should follow on Twitter, it's me, ideasbychuck.