Friday, May 29, 2009

Zingerade Spicy Lemonade

Do you want to start your own bottled drink company, but you're worried that the market is saturated? There are tons of teas, tonics, sodas, sport drinks, colas, waters, ales, punches, potions, and elixirs out there on the market. Where could you possibly fit in? What kind of market share could you possibly hope to dig out of that mountain of refreshment?

You have your heart set on starting your own drink company don't you? Don't you? Yes you do. Yes you do. Don't you?

Lucky for you, you know me, and I can tell you a drink that no one is bottling, no one is marketing, no one is selling, and yet hundreds of thousands of people are drinking. What is it?

The master cleanse lemonade, made from lemons, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and of course, water. If anyone is selling this pre-made, I can't find it. I would brand it "Zingerade." is available, it sounds cool, and conveys the general vibe of the product. It is slightly cliche, but so was Powerade, and that was put out by CocaCola. Give me a couple of million bucks and I will come up with a better name (that is an offer for CocaCola too).

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that the master cleanse lemonade sounds really gross. Well, it is actually pretty good. I have never been on the master cleanse, but for some reason every woman that I know tries to do it at least three times a year. Most of the time they fail, but I have had many chances to taste the spicy lemonade, and I like to take chances. It has a definite zing and a taste that just keeps giving. A unique flavor is hard to find, but this is one that is sitting right there giving you the finger.

Even if it tasted like total crap, it has medicinal properties. We all know that if you tell people something is good for them, it can taste like poop mixed with tartar sauce, and they will still drink it or eat it. Cayenne pepper quells hunger and boosts your metabolism. You don't have to be on a seven day fast to want to drink something that will stop you from eating seven twinkies between lunch and dinner while helping you burn more calories.

The convenience of this drink would attract anyone doing the master cleanse, and though it might sound crazy, there are tons of people out there not on the master cleanse or trying to lose weight who would drink Zingerade. People who smoke or drink heavily crave spicy foods because their taste buds have been killed off (I know all you drinkers are already thinking about what this would taste like mixed with vodka). Why do you think Bloody Marys are so popular?

Even if you hate the product just think of the marketing campaigns.

"Spice up your lemonade! Spice up your life! Zingerade!"

"Zingerade! The Juice with real Juice!"

"Jump-Start Your Lemonade! Zingerade!"

"Drink Zingerade or DIE FAT AND ALONE!"

You don't have to be a genius to see that this has some real potential. Make this idea happen. Make some money. Make your bed. Make out a check to me for two million dollars.
P.S. You really should subscribe to Ideas By Chuck. If you don't who will?

P.P.S. Zingerade and vodka is great.

P.P.P.S. If I can follow a chair that reports every time someone farts on it, you can follow me. Click here.


David H said...

Jeez, I can't believe you had that idea before I did!
Actually, I can. That's why you have this blog and I don't.
But that is seriously the best idea I've ever seen you post. Very marketable...I even like the name. Congrats.

Charles McCarthy said...

Thanks Dave.

I hope someone believes in it as much as you do, and makes it happen.

I was amazed that I couldn't find anyone selling this drink already, but I was more amazed that was available.

Just when you think that every road has been traveled you find out that every rose has it's thorns... wait... that didn't make any sense.

Unknown said...

They can also sell LemonHIV... Lemon and water before the sugar is added and it becomes Lemonaid... it's also an

This is also an appetite suppressant for those non-cleansers that don't like cyan and don't want the calories of the syrup

Anonymous said...

The boxed 24 pack should come with a new set of underpants for the Cleansers

Anonymous said...

This is a great idea! If i had money for a start up, this is what I would do!

We must take our taste buds back from sugar, they have held them hostage for far too long.

I would also name a flavor RazamaChaz after you and give you all the profits. Then i would encourage you to not work for your money but make that money work for you and talk you into investing in my acia berry farm in the rainforests of Brazilezuelador

Anonymous said...

I know more men that Master Cleanse than woman

Anonymous said...

You can have the LemonHIV flavor that person above suggested then you can name another flavor with just the maple syrup and lemons with out the cyan called

Full Blow Lemonaid

Anonymous said...

When you think about the actually getting of AIDS is fun, it's having it that's a total bum out. So the ad campaign can be:

Get Lemonaide
Drink it till it's gone
Then Get it again

Charles McCarthy said...

Someone just sent me this link to a drink recipe already waiting to be made with Zingerade


You see?

The demand is already there!

Anonymous said...

I DEMAND it comes in bigger bottles!

Anonymous said...

i meant

Get Full Blown Lemonaide
Drink it till it's gone
Then Get it again

Amanda said...

what about a master cleanse martini??? add a little sake in that mix, yo.

Dollfacekilla said...

I've put worse stuff in my mouth.