Fresh Chuck Of Bel-Air

People love a good rags to riches story. From Little Orphan Annie to Different Strokes, and all the Brewster's Millions in between, people love hearing about a downtrodden ragamuffins suddenly being lifted out of the gutter and put on a pedestal. Pretty Woman, King Ralph, Cinderella, and the list goes on.

Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air was a rags to riches story, and a huge hit show, and when Will Smith went back to the well with Pursuit of Happyness, it was an even bigger hit.

I feel like I am beating a dead horse, but I want to make sure we are all on the same page. You get it, right?

Here is the idea. Fresh Chuck Of Bel-Air: a reality show about me being adopted by a super rich family and going to live with them in their mansion, being taught how to be rich etc.





I know what you are thinking, "Chuck, you are a grown ass man. You look like you are homeless. You probably have bad breath. Why would anyone want to adopt you?"

First of all, I don't have bad breath. My oral hygiene is impeccable. Second of all, being a grown ass man has nothing to do with it. People love to see people of all ages stumble into fame and fortune. Third of all, me looking like a homeless person can only help make this show a hit. Just look at My Fair Lady, and don't be so careless as to forget Down And Out In Beverly Hills.

Still not convinced?

Really? Why not?

What you talkin' 'bout Willis?!

Fine! I'll try EVEN harder to see the stars from the gutter.


Look. Almost all reality shows center around this concept already. American Idol, The Apprentice (before they started hiring celebrities), Project Runway, Jersey Shore, all these shows are about getting plucked out of obscurity and being placed on a pedestal and or getting punched in the face. You know what I am saying.

Fresh Chuck Of Bel-Air would be Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air meets Down And Out In Beverly Hills meets Strangers With Candy. I wasn't a teen runaway and I have never really done hard drugs, but it would be funny like that, the part about me being adopted.

Take this show idea and run with it. Find me a rich family, and make it a big hit! Don't forget to give me some of the money you make off of me. I know I will be part of a rich family by then, but they will probably appreciate me pulling my weight none the less.

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck has not, not been proven to cure blindness. Subscribe now HERE.

P.S.S. Dear Kardashian Family, this is your chance to have yet another TV show. Don't pass it up!

P.S.S.S. I am on Twitter... yes... still. @ideasbychuck

P.S.S.S.S. Feel free to tell your friend's mom about my blog. I know she might not be a big internet user, but if she has a computer and can get on the internet at all, she can probably figure out how to subscribe to my blog. Maybe you could help her out. Think about it.

The Deuce

The other night, I went to a gallery opening. It was this gallery's two year anniversary show. Unfortunately for the world, I was not one of the featured artists. I doubt the art world will recognize my deep and profound artistic talent until after I am dead, but the lack of respect given to me for my art is not the point of this.

At the gallery opening, I met a guy named Chris, and together we created the next best worst reality show you have ever heard of... The Deuce.



I don't know anything about Chris, and I didn't get any of his contact info, so if you use this idea to make millions of dollars, you might have to hire a detective to give him his cut of whatever you might give me for making you rich and famous.

What is The Deuce?
The Deuce is a reality show similar to The Bachelor or Bachelorette, but with a twist- of course! The Deuce is about a millionaire bachelor trying to find love, but he needs more... more love than the average man. This millionaire bachelor is a chubby chaser- he loves BBW (Big Beautiful Women). He doesn't want to marry a woman under 200lbs - hence: The Deuce.

The show begins with 30 women arriving at the bachelor's mansion. None of the contestants are 200lbs. Through the course of the show, they must gain weight to win his love. Unfortunately, there is not quite enough food in the mansion to go around, so the women must compete and fight for every morsel.

Halfway through the show there is a weigh-in. Any of the women that are not at least 200lbs by this point, are eliminated.

The rest of the show operates basically like the bachelor. They go off to exotic locations and eat tons of exotic foods. He meets the families, obviously "weighing" his options based on the size of each woman's parents. There would be one or two differences, such as the fact that the CCB (Chubby Chasing Bachelor) hands out jelly donuts instead of roses to the Delta Burkes he wants to stay.

Not convinced that this would be a hit?

Imagine the drama! Imagine how much more dramatic each elimination would be. These women have put on 50-60lbs to be with this man. Not only are they being rejected, being sent home, but now they have added "plus" to their size. DRAMA!

Still? You still don't get it?

Think of the tie-ins and spinoffs possible! If NBC picked this show up, they could do a season of The Biggest Loser starring the women that were rejected by the CCB. The Biggest Loser: Biggest Losers Edition. Or all the losers could automatically become part of an online campaign for Weight Watchers, documenting their return to fitness. This show could draw on a whole host of sponsors that have been excluded from the genre, such as Lerner's and Krispy Kreme.

Okay... Are you serious? You still don't see this being a mega hit? For REALZ?

How angry do you think all the feminist and health forward groups would be? There will be a firestorm of anger and criticism ignited by the announcement of the addition of this show to your Wednesday night lineup. Soooo much free publicity! Soooo much! Remember how mad people got about Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire? Remember how upset all the Magicians got when their secrets were revealed? Remember? Those were just drops in the bucket! This is a John Candy Cannon Ball!


This is a huge hit waiting to happen, HUGE! Please make it happen, and when it is a mega hit, send me some money. And look... if you are really worried about backlash, you can label the show as being, "from the twisted mind of Chuck McCarthy," and blame it all on me... and Chris, if you can find him. Chris came up with the name. The Deuce!

P.S. Did you subscribe? Why not? Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck is one of the easiest things you can do to make your life awesome! DO IT!

P.P.S. Have you checked out ChuckMcCarthy.com?

P.P.P.S. I truly understand that this is a step backward for humanity, but if you ever played much football (soccer), you know that sometimes you have to go backward before you can go forward.

P.P.P.P.S. I am on Twitter - @ideasbychuck

Boy Meets Blogger

I am sure that all of you, my millions of fans, will remember that a while back I had an idea for a reality show staring me. Well, yeah, I know I have tons of ideas, so if you don't remember, you can click here.

Unfortunately for the viewing public, and all those would be reality show moguls nothing has come of this idea...yet.

But, since I let that idea float out into the world, like a Scooby Doo shaped mylar balloon spiraling to the heavens, I have been in contact with a bloggirl (that's pronounced blog-girl not blo-girl) named Molly McAleer or Molls. If you have been paying attention, you know she interviewed me for her web show, The Molls Show.

Now, I never met Kurt Vonnegut, but I can't imagine him not accusing me of having a brain to big for my own good. Thoughts started to swirl through my brain, thought of some sort of show about me and Molly hitting the mean streets of Hollywood like Laverne and Shirley, trying to make it our way, but in Hollywood, not Milwaukee. Well, these thoughts just kept swirling around in my brain until I finally told Molly about them...

YOU GUYS GOT LUCKY! She liked the idea, and together we came up with this:

Title: Boy Meets Blogger
Genre: Reality
Logline: The Hills meets Real World: Season 1 meets the Internet.

Back Story:

Molly McAleer and I were brought together by a plot line ripped from the pages of a terrible romantic comedy script.

Molly saw a flier for my website IdeasByChuck.com, took a picture of it, and made fun of me for it on her blog MollsSheWrote. She said that I was clearly just some guy trying to get a book deal by using budget fliers with quaint hand-drawn illustrations. My friend Mack saw her post and sent it to me along with this message, "This girl saw your ad. She is famous on the internet."


I found Molly on Twitter, and asked her if she had even looked at my website. She hadn't, so I bugged her until she checked it out.

When she finally really read my site and discovered that I am pretty famous on the internet too, she asked to interview me for her web show. I said yes, and made her a $5000 tshirt to show that there were no hard feelings.

We finally met in real life, hit it off, and discovered that we had a lot in common... way too much in common...


Synopsis:

Boy Meets Blogger would be about internet personalities, Chuck McCarthy and Molly McAleer teaming up to create new, high concept blogs (think stuffwhitepeoplelike.com) and other internet projects in an attempt to land a book deal or something even bigger...

Research for these new blogs would take them from the mean streets of LA to Hollywood clubs, dive bars, and car parks and everywhere in between, while revealing the day to day drama of their lives that will whip audiences into a frenzy of speculation over their relationship... Is there something more than friendship there?


Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, I know, pure gold right? This show has the two things that people are looking for these days, web ties and awesomeness.

Take this idea and run with it! Make it happen! If you need something to pass around to get people excited about this, you can send them BoyMeetsBlogger.com.

P.S. Subscribe to ideas by chuck before there are too many people on the internet and we stop letting people in.

P.P.S. Go Go Lucky Pants! You know what I am talking about.

P.P.P.S. Have you checked out decepticondoms.com?

P.P.P.P.S. I am on twitter now. @ideasbychuck. I promise that even my inane chatter is still fairly amusing.

Intimidating Uncle

I know you have all been waiting for yet another reality show idea from me. Guess what. I was waiting for another reality show idea from me too, and as luck would have it, I had one... I had one in my back pocket all along and didn't even realize it until just now.

As some or all of you, my billions of adoring and sexy readers, know, I have another blog called Intimidating Uncle, where I basically bring down the law on little kids. I play the roll of the Intimidating Uncle.

You know the Intimidating Uncle, the uncle who always said things to you that you only half-way understood but could tell from the tone of voice that they were either blatantly or mildly insulting, the uncle who wouldn't take any of the crap you would get away with around your parents, the uncle who didn't believe in unconditional love, the uncle who intimidated the crap out of you (in some families this roll is played by a close family friend).

Here is the idea: Intimidating Uncle the reality show.

Title: Intimidating Uncle
Genre: Reality
Logline: Super Nanny meets Wife Swap meets Uncle Buck.



Synopsis: Parents are sent on a vacation for a week leaving their children in the care of an uncle, an Intimidating Uncle, giving the uncle a chance to bring his brand of discipline down on the children. The Intimidating Uncle tries to whip the kids into shape, the parents get a much deserved break.

This has smash hit written all over it because it is basically playing off the same formula as several other very popular shows like the ABC hit shows Super Nanny and Wife Swap, but it also has the advantage of being able to showcase resorts and other vacation destinations. Can you say advertising dolla dolla billz yall? Plus, if you cast the right uncles, single and moderately handsome (like me), you can broaden the shows appeal and demographic.


P.S. You better subscribe to Ideas By Chuck... or else!

P.P.S. I have to thank my friend Ben for pointing out/opening my eyes to this idea. If you want to produce this, you should bring him on as a co-producer. He knows his stuff, and he is somewhat of an intimidating uncle himself.

P.P.P.S. I am still doing things on Twitter. Follow me if you want to - @ideasbychuck

PitchMen

Don't you hate it when your favorite AS SEEN ON TV pitchman dies? Can't see yourself watching TV stoned at 4am ever again? Are you looking for an answer?

How about an Ideas By Chuck IDEA? What's that?! Stay tuned to find out more!

When I heard that Billy Mays had passed away, I got sad. But then I thought to myself WWBMD? Billy Mays would dry his tears away with a Zorbeez™ the AS SEEN ON TV super absorbent towel, and turn this tragedy into opportunity.


I know what you are thinking! How can you do that? Well Sharon, in the next few paragraphs I am going to tell you about an amazing new idea that can turn your life around and that frown upside down! So stick around and find out how!

Now, I am sure that you are all avid followers of Billy's Discovery Channel show PitchMen, a brilliant combination of advertising and drama, but where will this show go now that Billy is gone? Do you really think that Anthony "Sully" Sullivan can carry the show by himself?

Say it with me! - I DON'T THINK SO!

Sullivan can't handle all the pitching by himself, so who will carry the show? Who will step in to sell fine products to the good people of America? Who will make offers even sweeter by doubling what you get for the same price for limited times? Who will throw in additional amazing items at NO EXTRA COST?



WHO WILL FILL BILLY MAYS' SHOES?



Vince Offer, A.K.A. The Shamwow Guy? No! His image is so dirty that even OxiClean™ could get it clean. His recent arrest for attacking a prostitute has knocked him off the short list. Vince Offer?

Say it with me! - I DON'T THINK SO!

Ron Popeil of RonCo fame? No! He is too old! He's so old, he could have invented breathing. Do you think America will trust a guy that old?

Say it with me! - I DON'T THINK SO!

Say, Sharon, do you remember when I told you that I had an idea? Say folks, do you remember when I said I had an idea? Well, here it is!

PitchMen should be turned into a search for America's Next Big Pitchman!



What do you think about that folks? Just imagine watching the exploits of 15 unknown pitch men and women as they try to become the next Billy Mays! And don't forget about all the amazing product placement that this makes possible! Doesn't that sound exciting folks?

Say it with me! - I DO THINK SO!!!

The show would be hosted by Anthony Sullivan and each week a panel of judges randomly composed of stoners, housewives, and the unemployed would decide the contestants' fates. Special guest appearances by Ralph Nader could also be a regular part of the show.

Act now! If you are a Discovery Channel Executive Producer, Anthony Sullivan, or someone else at Sullivan Productions, and you use this idea to make millions, please send me some of that cash +S&H. Sorry, no CODs. Hurry! Act now and I will throw in another idea for FREE! The special limited edition Michael Jackson sequin covered Ove Glove!™. This is a limited time offer, so act now!



P.S. Subscribe to Ideas By Chuck and for a limited time I will dedicate one of my prayers for Billy Mays to you for FREE.

P.P.S. I was sad about Michael Jackson too, but with ideas like the vibrating yoga ball, I think you all understand why I had to make this mainly about Billy Mays.



P.P.P.S. I am still on Twitter. Follow me - ideasbychuck.