Friday, May 30, 2008

Bringin Snackin Back


Sometimes I have ideas, and I try to guess how long it will be before someone else thinks of them. I came up with, "Do you smell what Barack is cooking?" way before lame comedians or even the politician himself said it on WWE's Raw. My friend and I even had T-shirts printed up that said it. You can visit TheBarock.com if, for some reason, you don't believe me.

This is one of those ideas. If some ad agency doesn't think this up sometime in the future or hasn't already thought it up, then I don't know what the world is coming to.

What's the idea?

An advertising campaign for crackers, staring Justin Timberlake and a modified version of his song, "Sexy Back," : "Snackin Back."

I think that Ritz Crackers are proabably the ideal fit for this campaign, so I have tailored all my wonderful visual machinations towards them. Ritz has always been a cracker of the people, poised to bridge the gap between sitting on your ass on the couch snacking, fun and casual snacking, and full-blown event snacking. Plus, Nabisco has the cash to pay for that snacking to be brought back.

Here are some lyrics that I worked up, though I am sure that Mr. Sexy Back himself could come up with some better ones.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you, "Snackin Back"!

[Verse 1]
We're bringing snackin back
Them other crackers don't know how to snack.
I think you're special what's behind your back?
So take a bite and i'll pick up the slack.
Take em' to the bash

[Bridge]
Crispy Ritz
You see these shackles
Baby I'm your slave
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

Take em' to the party

[Chorus]
Come here cheese
Go ahead, be gone with it
Come to the snack
Go ahead, be gone with it
VIP
Go ahead, be gone with it
Drinks on me
Go ahead, be gone with it
Let me see what you're working with
Go ahead, be gone with it
Look at those chips
Go ahead, be gone with it
You make me smile
Go ahead, be gone with it
Go ahead taste
Go ahead, be gone with it
And get your snackin on
Go ahead, be gone with it

Get your snackin on
Go ahead, be gone with it

[X6]

Get your snackin on

[Verse 2]
We're bringing snacking back
Them other crackers don't know how to snack
Come let me make up for the things you lack
Cause your hungry and you gotta eat it fast
Take em' to the bash

[Bridge]

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
We're bringing snacking back
Them other crackers watch while we attack
If that's your girl you better watch your back
Cause she'll eat it up with me and that's a fact

Take em' to the party

[Chorus]


All you musicians out there should feel free to record a demo of this and send it to me.

6 comments:

jennifer said...

i bought some Ritz crackers after reading this

stefan said...

thank you for your idea. i will incorporate it into an advertising campaign on your behalf whilst doing you the good turn of taking full credit for it (so as to relieve you of the burden of being interviewed on daytime talk shows). that much i will do for you Count Chukula. your welcome.

stefan said...

...you're welcome. damn.

Anonymous said...

I love that you genuinely think this is a good idea. Don't quit your day job buddy.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx said...

This is awesome! I love you blog - some funny funny stuff. Quit your day job and do this full time~!!!

I sent this one along to my brother and he also thought it pretty funny. We think it's a very appropriate role for cracker like Timberlake.

Elisha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.