Tuesday, May 13, 2008

McDonalds On The Moon

I think we all know that the world's resources are rapidly dwindling. We are not going to be able to cut back on consumption and population growth enough to stop the violent economic and environmental collapses that are eminent if we continue on this course.

I can see only one solution. McDonalds needs to team up with Walmart, Coca Cola, GM, and Boeing to build the first human outpost on the moon along with a McDonalds and a Walmart.

How does this help the earth? There is no environment on the moon to destroy, no species to kill off, and plenty of land. Pollute it all you want, it will just make the view of the moon from earth more interesting. Millions of people could immigrate to the moon, taking a great deal of stress off of the global ecosystem.


Why does this make sense for McDonalds and friends? It makes sense for two major reasons. First, certain advantages in production and actual business. Production costs on the moon would be high at first, really high, but once the facilities and infrastructure were built McDonalds and Walmart could grow food in giant greenhouses, bathed in a constant summer sun. Imagine how big and fat cows and other livestock could grow in such a low gravity environment. Think of the alloys that GM and Boeing could produce and use in there products, and how production could be carried out with little regard to waste byproducts. Moreover, the major interest of the Walmart corporation has always been real-estate and they have been building new Walmart village prototypes across the country that combine a smaller Walmart store with apartments and other shops and restaurants. Finally, you can't have McDonalds fries and burgers without a coke to wash it all down. Why shouldn't these companies, the most recognizable brands in the world, want to be the most recognizable brands in the solar system? Second, Think of the publicity and good will it would generate for their brands. Think of the marketing campaigns, and new products it would spawn, the "McMoon Burger," "Solar Soda." From purely a PR and advertising standpoint, this makes sense financially. Think of the contests that McDonalds and Coke could run. Enter to win! Be the first person to have McDonalds fries on the moon!

The best part about this is that wherever McDonalds builds a McDonalds, Burger King and scores of other franchises are quick to follow. How could Pepsi let Coke be the only drink sold on the moon? How can Burger King only "BK" on earth? Moreover, they could not withstand the backlash that would come from not trying to set up shop on the moon. They don't care about the earth enough to colonize the moon to take the stress off of our fragile environment?
So what can we do? Talk about it. Call companies up. Email them. Write letters to McDonalds, Coke, Walmart. Write letters to newspapers. Those of you who are better writers than me, who understand what I am saying, rewrite this, expand the arguments, and send it out to everyone you know. Email your friends.

Get out there and start the ball rolling!

2 comments:

jennifer said...

according to 2007 census information 18.4% of the earths population believe the moon is made of cheese.... SO McDonalds moon signature sandwich should have two slices of cheese, maybe even three or maybe multiple kinds of cheese. Also McDonalds already kinda dabbled in moon stuff back in the 80s when they had that herion addict mac the knife as their spokes person. That was a disaster of shuttle challenger proportions! so they might be a wee bit hesitant to jump back into the moon game

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