The Deuce

The other night, I went to a gallery opening. It was this gallery's two year anniversary show. Unfortunately for the world, I was not one of the featured artists. I doubt the art world will recognize my deep and profound artistic talent until after I am dead, but the lack of respect given to me for my art is not the point of this.

At the gallery opening, I met a guy named Chris, and together we created the next best worst reality show you have ever heard of... The Deuce.



I don't know anything about Chris, and I didn't get any of his contact info, so if you use this idea to make millions of dollars, you might have to hire a detective to give him his cut of whatever you might give me for making you rich and famous.

What is The Deuce?
The Deuce is a reality show similar to The Bachelor or Bachelorette, but with a twist- of course! The Deuce is about a millionaire bachelor trying to find love, but he needs more... more love than the average man. This millionaire bachelor is a chubby chaser- he loves BBW (Big Beautiful Women). He doesn't want to marry a woman under 200lbs - hence: The Deuce.

The show begins with 30 women arriving at the bachelor's mansion. None of the contestants are 200lbs. Through the course of the show, they must gain weight to win his love. Unfortunately, there is not quite enough food in the mansion to go around, so the women must compete and fight for every morsel.

Halfway through the show there is a weigh-in. Any of the women that are not at least 200lbs by this point, are eliminated.

The rest of the show operates basically like the bachelor. They go off to exotic locations and eat tons of exotic foods. He meets the families, obviously "weighing" his options based on the size of each woman's parents. There would be one or two differences, such as the fact that the CCB (Chubby Chasing Bachelor) hands out jelly donuts instead of roses to the Delta Burkes he wants to stay.

Not convinced that this would be a hit?

Imagine the drama! Imagine how much more dramatic each elimination would be. These women have put on 50-60lbs to be with this man. Not only are they being rejected, being sent home, but now they have added "plus" to their size. DRAMA!

Still? You still don't get it?

Think of the tie-ins and spinoffs possible! If NBC picked this show up, they could do a season of The Biggest Loser starring the women that were rejected by the CCB. The Biggest Loser: Biggest Losers Edition. Or all the losers could automatically become part of an online campaign for Weight Watchers, documenting their return to fitness. This show could draw on a whole host of sponsors that have been excluded from the genre, such as Lerner's and Krispy Kreme.

Okay... Are you serious? You still don't see this being a mega hit? For REALZ?

How angry do you think all the feminist and health forward groups would be? There will be a firestorm of anger and criticism ignited by the announcement of the addition of this show to your Wednesday night lineup. Soooo much free publicity! Soooo much! Remember how mad people got about Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire? Remember how upset all the Magicians got when their secrets were revealed? Remember? Those were just drops in the bucket! This is a John Candy Cannon Ball!


This is a huge hit waiting to happen, HUGE! Please make it happen, and when it is a mega hit, send me some money. And look... if you are really worried about backlash, you can label the show as being, "from the twisted mind of Chuck McCarthy," and blame it all on me... and Chris, if you can find him. Chris came up with the name. The Deuce!

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P.P.S. Have you checked out ChuckMcCarthy.com?

P.P.P.S. I truly understand that this is a step backward for humanity, but if you ever played much football (soccer), you know that sometimes you have to go backward before you can go forward.

P.P.P.P.S. I am on Twitter - @ideasbychuck

Dyslexia Through The Looking Glass

I was listening to a guy called Dr. Gabor Maté on this hippy liberal radio/tv show called Democracy Now. He was mainly discussing the correlation between people having been abused as children and drug addiction, but he also discussed several other disorders such as ADD that he believes also stem from trauma in early childhood development, and not genetics.

The more I listened to him, the more I believed that a little theory, a little hypothesis of my own that I have been turning over in my head for a while, may have more validity than I ever imagined.


I have been contemplating the idea that mirrors are the cause of dyslexia, that those of us who were exposed more to mirrors as babies and young children are more likely to have signs and symptoms of dyslexia.


Mirror + Baby = Dyslexia


A couple of things point me in this direction. One, most dyslexic people are of average or above average intelligence. This intelligence, this ability to learn, could very well be the thing causing the problem. A sponge will soak up gasoline just as well as it will soak up water, but most rocks won't soak up either. Does that make any sense? Two, the very nature of the disorder along with an increase in the number of people showing symptoms taking into account the increase in the number of mirrors per capita in the last 100 years.

Of course, I am me, and I don't have any kind of psychology, physiology, or even a pimpology degree. I am not any kind of doctor, and without any kind of credentials, I am not very likely to land any kind of serious grant money to study this hypothesis. Moreover, even if I did conduct some sort of airtight scientific study, everyone would probably ignore it... I don't even wear glasses, and the mirror industry probably has some pretty strong lobbying power in Washington.

If you are studying these kinds of things, and or you are Dr. Gabor Maté, I really think you should pursue this hypothesis. Of course, I would like some of the credit, and maybe some money if you win the Nobel Prize or a MacArthur Genius Grant or something.

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck does not cause any kind of major neurological disorder... I don't think. Subscribe Here.

P.P.S. I used to show more signs of dyslexia when I was better looking and looked at myself in the mirror all day long, so if you are dyslexic, stop looking at yourself in the mirror, and your dyslexia will probably go away. That's right girl! Turn your back on that mirror!

P.P.P.S. Have you checked out ChuckMcCarthy.com or started following my Twitter, @ideasbychuck?

P.P.P.P.S. I think Democracy Now should change their name to Democrazy Now. It's a little catchier.

Super Supers

Over the last couple of months, I have worked on a few "viral video" campaigns. I acted in, produced, and directed (as much as one can direct something like this) a project to promote ADASport.com that involved a bunch of people going into an Apple store and playing with stuffed animals. If you want to check it out go here. I also acted in and worked in the production of a video featuring comedian/pundit Mo Rocca, promoting a global temporary housing company. You can see that one here. Yeah, I made the thumbnail.

I have also been working on developing a bunch of branded content concepts. Branded content is basically a return to the single sponsor TV show, like the good old days when Tide and other detergents sponsored "soap operas." This is the inevitable evolution of advertising in conjunction with online video content. As it becomes harder and harder for a video to "go viral" it is more and more important to build fan bases. One-off "viral videos" still have a place in the world, but branded content is where any major advertising investments should be made.

Wow. Boring! And don't think that I don't know what you are thinking. You are thinking that it seems like I have been way to productive for someone without the time or energy to do anything, but I never said that I didn't have the time, energy, or passion to do anything, just to make these ideas reality. Checkity check yourself!

What is Super Supers?

I started thinking about Super Supers right after I did the video for the global temporary housing company, and it is designed as branded content for either a global temporary housing company, or a hotel chain.

The basic concept is that a couple, some handsome youngsters, or a couple of hot chicks, travel around from apartment complex to apartment complex, or hotel to hotel, and check up on them. Yeah, like building supers. Get it?

It's basically a travel show, which people love (they do have their own channel), but a travel show that highlights the sponsor's locations and services. Did you know that the Millennium Hilton, Bangkok boasts sweeping city views (apparently also a perpetual puddle-see below)? Did you know that the Ritz Carlton, Berlin is an unforgettable 5-star hotel just steps from Potsdamer Platz. I wish I knew what Potsdamer Platz was, don't you? Think about it.

What's that? You think this idea needs a little twist?

Here is the twist. At every location visited, the hosts place a sticker with a special code on it in a secret place, someplace that no one would ever look without having seen the show (someone finding it without having seen the show won't know its importance anyway). The code will be redeemable online for sweet prizes, real prizes, not like a key chain or some 10% off coupon. This will encourage people who travel a lot for business to watch every episode and pressure the person who books their travel arrangements to book them rooms at the sponsor's hotels.

I know you can sell this to someone, so go make a pilot, and remember that even though I now have a real job (Brand X Group), I could still use some of that money, so please send me some.

P.S. There is still time to subscribe to Ideas By Chuck. It's quick and easy. Click here.

P.P.S. If you were scared to hire me to think for you before, back when I was a lone gun, but now you are thinking you would like to hire me, contact me at TheBrandXGroup.com

P.P.P.S. Have you bee keeping up with me on ChuckMcCarthy.com? Why not?

P.P.P.P.S. I did a guest writing stint on LiquidGeneration.com for the last couple of weeks.

P.P.P.P.P.S. I am still on Twitter. @ideasbychuck

Texting Implants

I have been on Twitter for a while now, and the most amazing thing to me about Twitter is the fact that Shaq tweets. This does not amaze me because he is a pro athlete, or because he never struck me as someone that had all that much to say, but because he tweets from his phone. If I have trouble texting and twittering on my phone with my little fingers, I can't imagine what it is like for him with his giant thumbs. You can't be a giant without giant thumbs. Trust me on this one. I looked it up.

Maybe he has an assistant to whom he dictates his tweets. Maybe he has some sort of special Jitterbug/Sidekick hybrid. Maybe he pays his cousin Larry to tweet for him. Who knows?

I have tried to ask him how he does it, but he has never responded, which makes his twittering even more suspect, but that is really beside the point.

All I know is that unless he has a little Orlando Magic left or Kazaam was actually a documentary, Shaq is not texting without making more than a few errant key strikes.

The main point is that Shaq got me thinking about how to make texting etc. easier for people with big, meaty thumbs like me... me and Shaq.

What did I come up with? What is my idea?

Teflon implants that go under the skin of the thumb to create a raised bump, allowing for easier texting with little or no inconvenience and or maintenance.

Is this taking texting too far? Is this turning twittering into torture?

Some of you are probably asking these questions, and some of you probably think that this is crazy talk. Maybe you don't believe that anyone would ever want to undergo a surgical procedure to enhance their texting skills. I would like to feel the same way, I really would, but have you seen the surgical procedures that people are getting for no apparent reason, for no practical benefit?


People are getting everything from calf implants to horns. Horns. If there is someone out there making money on horn implants, then I think you can easily turn this idea into cold hard cash. Of course, the devil is in the details (don't know if that was a pun or just cheese factor). Perfecting the process and making it affordable is the key.


There is a market for this. Make it happen. Make lots of money, and really, seriously, please don't forget to think about sending me some.

P.S. Virtually all the words and phrases on the SideShaq phone were taken from his Twitter.

P.P.S. Not so very long ago, I got to hang out with someone much smarter than me, Mo Rocca. Here is proof.

P.P.P.S. I know I just said that people are getting implants for no reason. I would like to say that I do support some types of implants, even if they serve no practical purpose.

P.P.P.P.S. You know how you can find out about all my new ideas with little or no inconvenience? Yeah, subscribe. Click here to subscribe.

Toilet Terraforming

Lately, I've been working on tons of different projects, but every day I take time out to think, to ponder, to touch my oversoul... to think and reflect in my own way.

Where do I take this time? Do I go to the woods, to nature, as suggested by the traditional Transcendentalists?


No. I do my pondering on a much smaller pond than Thoreau's Walden. I do most of my really deep thinking in the same place and position as most of you... on the toilet.

Recently, I was philosophizing, and the oversoul reached out and touched me... Not like that! No... but it did touch me... deep down, and this idea came to me, this idea that has to be my single most viable and marketable idea to date. It combines two things that people love: gardening and pooping. Moreover, this idea promises to enrich and simplify people's lives with minimal effort. Everything I just said can be summed up with one symbol: $

What is this brilliant idea?


A planter that replaces the lid on the back of your toilet, allowing you to grow flowers or herbs in your bathroom, allowing you to get in touch with nature while you are getting in touch with your crossword puzzle, Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, and your deep philosophical ponderings.

I know. I know. You have no gardening skills at all. You have killed everything from ficus to ferns, from daisies to daffodils. You either overwater or forget to water your plants. Here in lies the beauty of this idea, you never have to water these plants! A wick hanging down into the toilet reservoir soaks up just the right amount of water to keep your bathroom garden perfectly watered.


Think about it. You could have a little herb garden or wonderful smelling flowers growing in your bathroom, acting as living potpourri. Try telling me people don't like potpourri. Go ahead try. You can't! People don't just like potpourri, they love the word, "potpourri." Next time you go to a party, drop the word, "potpourri," and see what happens.

Are you a naysayer? Do you think this idea won't sell? Try telling that to the guys who invented the Chia Pet. They will laugh in your face, take this idea, and make another couple of million dollars, because the price points are perfect and this idea has that kitschy quirky "it factor."

In my research for this, I came across a self contained herb garden selling for $180.00. If there are people out there dropping that kind of cash on herbs that you can't smoke, then I know you can move at least a million units of the Toilet Gardener® for $19.95 at Walgreens or $59.99 at Brookstone.

Don't let the Chia Pet guys laugh in your face. Take this idea and make millions of dollars with it... and send me some of that money, or at least a complimentary Toilet Gardener®, so I can rename my toilet, Chuck's Pond.

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P.P.S. I am on Twitter - @ideasbychuck

P.P.P.S. I have a movie script about vampires. Vampires are so hot right now. If you are the head of a major studio or a not so major studio looking for some new vampire blood, let me know.

P.P.P.P.S. As you can see, I did find one reference to a retro toilet designed to hold a plant, but I am sure that the self watering mechanism was not a part of their design, and that is the genius part of this idea.

Megan Fox Saves The Day

This is another one of my ideas that is a little less about personal gain, and a little more about furthering mankind's journey towards the goals of humanism and building a better, stronger society. I want to make the world a better place, and I know many of you feel the same way. Think of me as an NPR underwriter with no money.

But, enough about me being a bankrupt philanthropist. I have figured out a way that California can solve it's current budget crisis, saving thousands of jobs, ensuring continued funding for social programs, and maybe helping some little kids learn how to read, because even though it is possible to teach yourself how to read, it helps to have a teacher.

Now, I know many of you are smart enough not to live in California. That's okay. I am sure that California isn't the only state with budget problems, and if your state has a lottery, you can try to make this happen there too. I am just going to use California for this post because I live here, and so does Megan Fox... not together... yet...

Here is the idea: Lotto scratch tickets featuring semi-tasteful nude photos of Megan Fox. Semi-tasteful, because everything Megan Fox does is semi-distasteful, and we love it.
You would scratch to reveal her naked body. There would be several different photos. The photos could be printed as silver holograms, so people couldn't scan or photograph them easily. Only 1 in 5 would actually show her naked body. All the others would either be winners, or you would find her in a sexy lingerie. This would encourage people to buy multiple tickets.

Of course, it doesn't necessarily have to be Megan Fox, but she is the sexy chick of the moment, and I feel like, for a couple of hundred thousand dollars, she would be interested in helping little kids learn to read. After all, if they can't read, they can't read her amazing quotes. Plus, this might help her make some friends.

"I have no friends and I never leave my house." - Megan Fox, Times of London, June 2009

Think about it. You have to be 18 to buy lotto tickets and pornography, so you wouldn't have to send out any special memos to 7-11 workers. These tickets would have a certain amount of collectibility. People who wouldn't normally buy lotto tickets would buy these for the novelty etc. California has already tried to broaden their lotto market by teaming up with the entertainment industry, selling scratch tickets featuring bands like the Seal and the Goo Goo Dolls (yeah really) and movies like Mad Money. I know that I am not just speaking for myself, when I say that I would choose a naked Megan Fox over a turtlenecked Diane Keaton any day.
Even better than expanding the market here in California, there would be a secondary market for already scratched tickets on the internet, selling to Megan Fox fans all over the world, so this would bring money into California, not just act as a voluntary tax. The collectibility factor might even lead to tickets being purchased and never being scratched.

Now, I know some people are going to have a problem with this, but those are the same people who already have a problem with the lottery. Yeah, yeah, gambling is a sin. Nudity is a sin... Oh wait... Is it? Really? Where does it say that in the Bible?

Make this happen and you will make a lot of people happy... a lot. Make it happen! Do it!

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck makes a lot of financial sense. It is free. Click Here.

P.P.S. I am on Twitter: @ideasbychuck

P.P.P.S. Megan Fox, I am single, so if you ever decide you want to drop the B.A.G., look me up.

P.P.P.P.S. Sometimes, people forget to look at all my past great ideas. There could be an idea just waiting for you!

P.P.P.P.P.S. If Megan Fox won't do it, I am available.

Lego Clothing

I have been away for a while. Did you think that I had left the internet forever in an attempt to save the economy? This couldn't be further from the truth. Believe it or not, I have actually been sucked deeper into the internet. Besides, I wasn't saving the economy with my spending before I became one with my computer.

That said, I have a new and exciting idea that could make you super rich and maybe even... famous.

Have you ever said to yourself, "Self, I wish that this dress I am wearing was a little tighter, or looser... Oh! I don't know! I just wish it was a little different. I mean, I like this dress, but..."?

I know you have, because you were talking about a dress, and since you were talking about a dress, you are probably a woman, a transexual, or a cross dresser, three types of people known for their inability to accept things for what they are. Well, what if you had a dress that you could easily change? Would that make you happy? I know... Yeah.. Okay, lets just imagine that you can be happy. Yeah? Now? Okay.

Lego Clothing would be that dress.

Lego Clothing would be clothing easily assembled from small, connectable and interchangeable pieces, allowing people to easily design, redesign, and alter their own clothing just like playing with Legos.

There have been many attempts at modular clothing, from the ever cheesy Abercrombie + Fitch zip off pant leg cargo pants/shorts, to the more fashion and gimp forward 120 zipper dress, but all of the examples I have found fall short of the versatility and simplicity of Legos. You can do better. I am not saying this is going to be super easy, but I am confident you can do it, even if you have to team up with Lego to get it done.

The clothing would come in kits just like Legos, with instructions, and the person assembling them can follow the directions to a tee or not... kind of like Ikea furniture, but not following the directions won't mean your bed falling apart while you are having sex with a Puerto Rican race car driver or a girl who insists on chanting, "Oh You're a big boy just like CHASE! JUST LIKE CHASE! JUST LIKE CHASE!" the entire time.

You might have some reservations. Here are some envisioned FAQs along with answers.

Q: How will someone wash and dry all these little pieces without them getting lost?
A: Simple. In a specially designed washing bag.

Q: What if I am retarded and or have no hands, and I can't assemble my own clothing, but I still want to buy this product?
A: "Lego tailor shops" will no doubt spring up, employing 10 year old boys to assemble and alter this clothing.

Q: I don't like anything that involves imagination, innovation, or having my own unique style, is this product for me?
A: No.

Many people in the world are on a constant quest for their own unique style, and I can't throw a rock without hitting a girl that who would like to be on Project Runway. Why do you think Lifetime just payed $150 million for the rights to it?

Make this happen, and you will not only make money, you will make fashion history! But don't forget to think about tossing me some of those billions of dollars. I will even model for you.

P.S. It is so hot right now to subscribe to Ideas By Chuck. Do it now! Click here.

P.P.S. I am trying to change the world with my fashion project. Check it out here.

P.P.P.S. If you want to know way too much about me, check out The History of Chuck.

P.P.P.P.S. Yes, I am still on Twitter @ideasbychuck.g7sh4kv9md