Hoarders Billionaire Edition

Our country, nay... our world is in financial turmoil, and guess who has been thinking about this problem. Yeah, me, Chuck McCarthy.

I don't have all the answers, but I do think I have come up with an idea that could help all of us out, and it is very simple.

Most of us think of billionaires as being more fortunate than the rest of us, but have you ever stopped to wonder why all these super rich people have such giant houses? Have so many giant houses?

They have giant houses, because giant houses have giant garages.

These super rich people are suffering from a terrible and debilitating disease... Many, if not all, of these super rich people are compulsive hoarders suffering from disposophobia. The houses, the boats, the cars, the diamonds, the shoes, the gold nuggets, the sports teams, the Faberge eggs, the paintings, the sculptures, the copies of the constitution, and even the billions of dollars they have in the bank are all signifiers of their inability to let go of things.

It is only because these people have maids, managers, housekeepers, butlers to keep all their crap in order and the ability to buy or build larger and larger houses, that they are able to hide the illness from everyone.




What the world needs is Hoarders Billionaire Edition to help all the billionaires in the world with their compulsive hoarding.

Only one or two of you might have the TV production chops to make this happen, but this idea can help everyone, for it is my belief that if all of these billionaires are cured, trickle down economics will actually work.

Beyond helping everyone in the world by helping these billionaires get rid of millions of dollars of things they don't need, cleaning out billions from cluttered bank accounts, and helping free up capitol that the rest of the world might actually need, this show could be the start of making you into a super rich person.

Think about it. This show would basically be a cross between Hoarders (super popular) and Cribs (super popular) and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous (super popular and fabulous).

You don't have to be as smart as Soulja Boy to know this is a good idea. People love to see how super rich people live just as much as the love seeing rats living in someone's living room and hundreds of boxes of light bulbs stacked in the bathroom of a two bedroom Brooklyn apartment.

This show will be a hit!

Do it, and please, if you become super rich because of this, send me some of that money, or encourage billionaires you have on the show to send me some of the money they are trying to get rid of.


P.S. I am on Twitter still: @ideasbychuck

P.P.S. I am still Hollywood Acting. If you want to be my Hollywood agent, go here.

P.P.P.S. Let me know if you have any want to be my personal historian.

P.P.P.P.S. Dear Billionaires, Don't let Imelda Marcos take the fall for you all. You know you have a problem too. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Murder Murder She Wrote

Some of you may have started to wonder if I have been murdered. Well, I haven't been murdered. If I had been murdered, I wouldn't be able to write this.

Sadly, I have become caught up in being a Hollywood Actor, and as a Hollywood Actor, thinking too much can really get in the way, especially when the Hollywood Acting job is to lay in a bed and drool.

Sometimes, I do imagine being murdered though. I don't know anyone who doesn't have these thoughts. I just hope that my friends are clever enough to kill me cleverly, so that the only way they could possibly be caught is if say... an old woman who writes crime novels stumbled into my life just before my killer or killers carried out their plan.

Fine! You didn't come here to hear my musings about my own murder (lots of alliteration in that). You came here to get an idea that might make you a millionaire, and here it is.

I have been watching a bunch of murder mystery movies and TV shows etc. and I started wondering what would happen in each case if the murderer didn't just confess at the end, and even when they do confess if that confession would actually be admissible as evidence. Basically, would these murderers actually be convicted in a court of law.

People love court cases... as long as they are not asked to be on the jury or involved in any sort of way that would actually affect them. That's why Nancy Grace has a career. That's why there are dozens of Law & Order shows. That's why Matlock was the man. That's why we have F'N Court TV, or as some people call it, "The House That OJ Built."

Murder Murder She Wrote would be Mystery Science Theater 3000 meets Murder She Wrote meets Court TV. Two lawyers give color commentary and arguments for and against the murderer, arguing as to whether or not they believe the murderer would be convicted based on things like admissibility of evidence, confessions, and witness testimony. Would the jury be sympathetic? Etc. etc. etc...

Of course one of the lawyers would be a hot chick with a bitchy face and the other would be a flamboyantly gay man with more tenacity and sass than Jessica Fletcher herself.

People love Murder She Wrote. People love legal arguments... again as long as they aren't actually involved. Plus, this show would cost almost nothing to produce. You need a green screen, two lawyers, a camera, an editor, and the rights to Murder She Wrote, which is probably almost in the public domain by now. Did I mention that one of the lawyers is a hot chick with a bitchy face, and people love that! Shows get sold based completely on the weight that a hot bitchy face carries.

You can make this a hit show. You can make money off of it. You can send me some of that money. Please?

P.S. I am still on Twitter -@ideasbychuck

P.P.S. I still have another website - ChuckMcCarthy.com

P.P.P.S. I still need money.

Robot Wars 2.0: LEAGUE NET

Do you remember Robot Wars? Do you remember Gyromite? Do you like video games? Do you know anything about the Predator Drone? Have you read Ender's Game? If you answered yes to all of these questions, you might already have an idea as to where I am going with this. If you answered no to all of these questions, you might not be interested in this idea at all. Stop reading!

Are you still there? Fine... I'll try to recap and explain everything, so that you will see that this idea is not only brilliant and doable, but every part has been done before. What I am telling you is that this idea... this idea is kind of like putting peanut butter and chocolate together.

Robot Wars was created by George Lucas henchman, Marc Thorpe and basically consisted of moderately crappy remote control robots with pick axes and circular saws going at each other in an arena full of obstacles designed to make the battles more interesting. They turned the live event into a TV show. If you never saw it, imagine a crappy RC robot version of the movie Gladiator. It was fairly entertaining, but the cool factor wore off pretty quickly. The fact that these robots were being made in people's garages and the basements of college science buildings was part of the appeal, but also part of the downfall. Okay it's a remote controlled shop vacuum. Big deal. Furthermore, if my memory is at all accurate, the crappiest, simplest, and most boring robots always seemed to win.


Speaking of crappy robots, Gyromite was one of two crappy Nintendo games designed to be played with a crappy robot named ROB. You had to guide the crappy robot through tasks using your Nintendo controller. Like I said, the game was crappy, but the concept of controlling a robot with your video game system is key to this idea.

Remote controlling robots has been taken to the next level with devices like the Predator Drone, unmanned, remote control aircraft that the U.S. Military has been using for several years now to spy on and take out our enemies. These drones are controlled by soldiers sitting behind desks, nice and safe back at the base, just like the kids in Ender's Game, a sci-fi book series about kids in the future remote controlling fighter ships to destroy an alien race.

Man, that was a lot of nerd to unleash on you... Are you okay? Can you go on? Should we rest?

Did you catch any World Cup games? Me neither. I don't have cable, and I couldn't seem to get up early enough... Oh you want to keep going? Okay.





So, here is the idea: Team up with one of the big video game system companies, like Sony, Nintendo, or Microsoft to create a video game called Robot Wars 2.0: League Net - a robot fighting game that could be played online like so many other games these days. Sony would probably be best company to team up with, because the robots in the game need to simulations of real robots. Yeah, the robots in the game would be exactly like real life robots. You see where this is going?

I'm sure that with the backing of the Sony robotics division, you can come up with some better robots than the rest of us Homer Simpsons in our garages. These robots need to be cool and customizable- different weapons, colors, decals, wheels, etc.

Players will battle it out online every week in the virtual world with their customized robots, winning points, buying add ons, repairing damages, and having fun. At the end of the week, the players with the highest scores get a chance to battle it out live on TV (maybe G4 Network would be a good fit), controlling real life versions of their robots, right down to the decals. This would be a full on event with sponsors and prizes, but the contestants would control their robots right from their living rooms, using their familiar video game system controllers just like in the virtual world.

What have I just handed you? A hit video game and a hit TV show with a built in audience and out of control marketing and licensing opportunities. I didn't even say anything about possible government funding... Yeah... you heard me. Think about it... Plus, once you have this under your belt, and robotics advances just a little further, you will be perfectly positioned to bring the world the Robot Pillow Fighting League.

Please, please, please, when this makes you the richest person in the world, can you please remember to give me enough money to make me like the 1000th richest person in the world? Please. I promise not to park my yacht in your spot.

P.S. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck has been called a good idea in its self. Click here.

P.P.S. I still need a job. Most companies seem to have a hard time believing that I am smart.

P.P.P.S. I am on Twitter. @ideasbychuck

P.P.P.P.S. If you know anyone that might want to hire me, send them here.

Chuck Dickens: Illiterate Trucker

This one is for all my adoring fans in the world of scripted television, for all you thousands of TV show writers and producers out there who look to me for inspiration. Whether you work for NBC, CBS, Spike TV, Comedy Central, and even PBS this one is for you.

I have created a TV show born from the smoldering bonfires of past greats such as Kung Fu, Highway To Heaven, Touched By An Angel, and Knight Rider. I have created a show that rides on the wings of a c-130 Hercules transport plane forged from the smelting of thousands of classic tales.

I give you, Chuck Dickens: Illiterate Trucker.

Chuck Dickens: Illiterate Trucker or CDIT for short, is the tale of Chuck Dickens, a long-haul trucker on the road to nowhere. He travels the land helping unfortunate souls solve their larger than life problems with his knowledge of classical literature, while all along, searching for an "ending" to his own story. The irony floweth over the damns and dikes of this epic tale, for though Chuck Dickens knows every twist and turn of every classic tale from Emma to Ivanhoe, he is completely illiterate. He cannot read. Listening to thousands of books on tape has given him the ironic knowledge of classical literature that is both his gift and curse.

Characters:

Chuck Dickens - 50's - trucker with uncanny knowledge of classical literature

Basker - Chuck Dicken's dog, a faithful Boston Terrier

Claudet - 40's - trucking company dispatcher

Karl Grendelhousen - 50's - trucker and Chuck Dicken's nemesis


Notes:

I was thinking of having him pick up a teacher named Jim Smith who has given up on life. Maybe Jim could be his sidekick, always learning something from an old, illiterate trucker.

You can rip plot lines directly from thousands of books and short stories, and it is totally fine because that is the premise of the show. Brilliant. You PBS people might be interested in playing up this fact and trying to use the show to encourage people to read.

If you are a writer, producer, or trucker, get to work.

P.S. I subscribed to Ideas By Chuck today. It was so fun and easy.

P.P.S. If you use this idea, and the show is a big hit, I would appreciate a creator credit along with some money.

Springer Town

The world loves Jerry Springer. I love Jerry Springer. His show is a mirror on America that we can all examine ourselves in, shake our heads in disapproval, and pretend that the reflection isn't that, a reflection.

Some sort of twisted narcissism is what keeps us coming back for more, more Springer. We can't get enough Springer.

Here is my idea. Give us more Springer! Give us SPRINGER TOWN!

Someone, maybe one of my billions of readers, needs to produce a show very similar to Kid Nation(click the link if you don't know what Kid Nation is.), but instead of kids, all the contestants would be past Jerry Springer Show guests, a ghost town repopulated by Jerry Springer guests.


Jerry Springer could be the mayor trying to guide them towards harmony and a successful community, just like when he was the mayor of Cincinnati.

There would be a town council and tasks that they would need to accomplish to survive.

The prize each week would be the same as on Kid Nation, a gold star to represent a college fund.

Almost everything would be just like Kid Nation, but to spice things up a little, there would be paint ball guns thrown into the mix. High Noon Springer style! Also, they would be given the tools and knowledge to brew their own beer. Most of them probably already know how to brew crystal meth, so that shouldn't be much of a challenge for them.

I can hear the chant now.

Can you hear it?

Mayor Jerry! Mayor Jerry Mayor Jerry! Mayor Jerry! Mayor Jerry!

P.S. I think you all know that you should subscribe to Ideas By Chuck.

P.P.S. I have a messed up schedule, so you should probably subscribe to Ideas By Chuck if you don't want to miss out on any of my ideas.

P.P.P.S. Having Taylor from Kid Nation on this show too would not be such a bad idea.

The New Bob Newhart Show

Bob Newhart is one of the greatest comedians of our time. He has influenced and fathered the comedic stylings of so many comedians that listing all of them would be stupid.

He has starred in four TV shows with different variations of his name as their titles, The Bob Newhart Show, The Bob Newhart Show, Newhart, and Bob. Why not go for the gusto and bring Bob Newhart back in a fifth incarnation, The New Newhart Show?

Here is the show concept.

Bob Newhart's long lost brother Rob dies and leaves him a ski resort...in Afghanistan. Going against all his friends' advice and against good judgment, he decides to move to Afghanistan and carry the torch of his brother's dream, healing Afghanistan with comedy and skiing.

Every episode would bring a new set of problems and a flurry of washed-up-semi-famous guest stars who have somehow ended up in Afghanistan.

I want to see another Bob Newhart show. This could be the most amazing thing ever.

I Love Desilu

Don't ask me why, but I have been watching "Dancing With The Stars" on ABC, and even though Cristian de la Fuente did not win the trophy, I would have to say that he is the big winner in the end. His star stock just jumped 3000% in my book.


What is he going to do with this new cache? I don't know. What should he do? He should get his agent on the phone and have his agent throwing this idea out and around Hollywood as hard as he can. His agent should be spoon feeding this idea down peoples throats, not like a plane going into the hanger, but like a jet crashing into a mountain.

So what's the big idea?

He and his agent and any minor minion they can get on board should be pushing for Christian to star in a new TV show called "I Love Desilu," or possibly simply "Desilu," a dramedy along the lines of "30 Rock" meets "John Adams" meets, of course, "I love Lucy."

The show would follow the personal and professional missteps and accomplishments of the stars and staff at Desilu productions during the groundbreaking six season run of the original "I love Lucy" TV show. The original show made historic technological and stylistic advancements that are well documented in television history. Also well documented, is the beautifully rocky relationship between Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. You can't tell me that there isn't a show that people will watch here.


I would cast Alyson Hannigan as Lucy. I think she has the comedic and dramatic acting chops to pull it off, and I think that with a little makeup and some hair plucking, pulling, curling, combing, and folding, she will be a dead ringer for the Lucy that we all love.

In my opinion, the show should run no more than six seasons, the same amount of time the original show ran. It will give the show more weight, quality, and respect. There is money to be made in DVD and download sales. The great part is that the DVDs can be packaged with DVDs of the original episodes, first season, first season.

It is all up to you Cristian de la Fuente. You can be the next Desi Arnaz. You can be bigger than him. This is my gift to you. I have served it up on a silver platter. Eat it. Get out there and beat some bongo drums. Shake your hips. Shout. Be so sexy that nothing can stop you.

Also, you might want to practice shouting, "Luuusay!"