Rosetta Bone

Do you want to make money? Do you want to bring the world closer together, I mean really CLOSER together? Do you want to facilitate and encourage learning? Do you really want to make money? Do you want to make lots of money?

One summer I was lucky enough to be part of a study abroad program in Italy. I lived in Cortona, Italy, a small walled city made famous by the book "Under The Tuscan Sun." I ate, drank, danced, studied art, made love, and summoned from the bricks and stones of this ancient city on a hill the spirits of my ancestors around me like a magical cloak of destiny. Yeah, I drank a ton.

While I was there, I came across some Italian pornography that was laid out like a live action comic book, with narration boxes as well as thought and dialog bubbles guiding the reader through hardcore erotic adventures.

A scholar at heart, I set about translating these stories. Would Rocco figure out where Sophia had hidden his keys? I wanted to know, and though the plot lines were less than complex, they were more than titillating. You know what I mean.

It was at this time that I first started thinking about an erotic language learning system, and so this idea was born:

Rosetta Bone, an erotic language learning system.

If you don't see how amazing this idea is, let me give you some hardcore reasons that this idea will lead you to be showered in gold (not to be confused with a golden shower).

First, porn plot lines are simple and repetitious just like every language learning system. If you have to hear about Federica getting a dress for the school dance, getting ready for the dance, going to the dance, dancing at the dance, leaving the dance, and remembering how great the dance was, wouldn't you at least like to see Federica get double teamed by Luca and Anthony after the dance?

Second, learning while in a state of arousal and through multiple modes of stimulation has been proven time and time again to be the most effective way to learn. If you don't believe me, you can go do some research on your own. This Northwestern University study might be a good place to start.

Third, most people going to another country for a short or long period of time want to know how to get three things accomplished in the native tongue: get food, find a bathroom, and get sex. All porn is, is eating, swallowing, and, well I won't go on with that, but if you don't get the idea...uhh...uhh...you probably shouldn't be reading this.

Speaking purely to the making money aspect of this whole thing, people love porn. Your system could be totally worthless and ineffective on the language learning side, but if it is hot porn, people will still pay money to see it.

Carpe Denari!

P.S. You should subscribe to Ideas By Chuck. I don't get a portable TV, Garfield phone, or a trip to Epcot Center for getting a certain number of subscribers. I just don't want you to miss my next big idea.

P.P.S. You should start with Latin. Why? Cause it's the HARDEST!

P.P.P.S. Talk Dirty: Spanish and similar titles are already a bestsellers. This is not a big leap.

P.P.P.P.S. Don't you want to know what those Dutch chicks are saying? Don't you? REALLY! Make this idea reality!

Sundae Bar

Most of you, my millions of readers, would probably be surprised to find out that I have worked for no less than four ice cream franchises in varying capacities. Yes, I have a lot of ice cream experience under my belt.

I worked for Marble Slab as a "scoopstar," painted murals for Petrucci's Ice Cream and Cold Stone Creamery, and worked in marketing/advertising for a small but corrupt ice cream franchise that shall go unnamed. Ice cream is in my blood, and if it's not in my blood, then it is in my fat.

Besides the ice cream industry, I have also worked at several bars and clubs. As with ice cream, my experiences have been varied. From a dive called the Nowhere Bar in Athens, GA to one of the largest clubs in the world, Webster Hall in New York, NY, I have seen it all.

What am I trying to get at?

If there are two things that I know about from hands on, personal experience, they are ice cream and alcohol.

Here is the idea. The combining of alcohol and ice has been severely under explored. If you were to open a bar that served ice cream and alcohol and specialized in the combination of the two, you would have a cash cow on your hands, or all over your hands. Sticky.

Why?

People love ice cream. People love alcohol. People love gimmicks. People really love gimmicks when ice cream or alcohol is involved. Just look at Pinkberry and Coldstone or Coyote Ugly and Hooters.

I would call the place either Sundae Bar, The Ice Cream Bar, or Frozen Not Stirred.


Here are a couple of recipes for drinks you can use in your new bar.

The Adriatic - Vodka, Kahlua, Milk, and Vanilla Ice Cream.

WWWonderful - Vodka, Sprite, Cranberry Juice, Sherbet, and Three Cherries.


P.S. I have been working. Sometimes when I work, I am not able to post ideas as regularly as you or I might like. Subscribing to Ideas By Chuck is the best way to make sure you don't miss out on all my thinking. I am actually on the clock right now helping my friend Denny promote his documentary, The Wrecking Crew. Luckily, I can help him and post a blog at the same time. But, what if I couldn't? You really should subscribe to Ideas By Chuck.

Black Bean Burger Boys

Are you a vegetarian? Why are you a vegetarian? Is it for geopolitical, socioeconomic, health, and environmental reasons, or do you just not like baby bunnies being bashed?

Well, if you are a vegetarian for the right reasons, which are a reduced carbon footprint and healthier arteries, and you want to start a profitable food franchise, then this idea is for you.

Start a fast food restaurant that sells veggie burgers, and ALMOST veggie burgers. The ALMOST is the important part. Don't try to pretend that you aren't using filler.
Exploit the fact that you are using filler. Make burgers that are mostly black bean, a compromise for those people who still need a little meat in their diet and on their tongue.

Sure, people will be reluctant at first, but because beans are cheaper than meat you can beat the competition on cost. Your burgers will be healthier, and just as tasty.

Then, on top of all of that, you push the green angle, and publicize how much better for the environment eating one of your burgers is compared to say, McDonald's or Burger King.

I can hear some of the slogans now.

"Black Beans, our burgers are good for you inside and out!"

"Black Bean Burger Boys, our burgers taste F'n good!"

"Black Beans: Great for your heart...no really."

With the cost of shipping beef from what used to be the rain forests of South America rising, someone is going to do this eventually, why not you?


P.S. Subscribe to Ideas By Chuck.

P.P.S. Subscribe to Ideas By Chuck.

Deep Fried Gold

Do you want to open a restaurant? Well, you are going to need a good concept. Guess what. I have one.

Here it is.

A restaurant that only sells deep fried nuggets/bite sized morsels of food. The nuggets are sold by the pound, and everything is the same price per pound. The customer wants a pound of deep fried okra or a pound of deep fried chicken nuggets, it costs the same.

The genius part of this is that a huge amount of the weight of fried foods comes from the oil that they are fried in, and even canola oil is very cost effective.

There would be a staple 10-15 foods that would be on the menu year round along with 5-10 seasonal items that would rotate, deep fried avocado to deep fried tofu, deep fried green beans to deep fried corn nuggets. There would even be deep fried mini candy bars and ice cream for desert. Of course there would be French fries.

I know what you are thinking. Fried food is bad for you. People won't go for it.

Fried food is bad for you, but it tastes soooooo good. People love fried food, and if you tell someone that they can get their favorite fried food on tap every single day, they will show up and drop cash. Plus, it probably wouldn't be that hard to make half the menu vegan, not just vegetarian, but vegan. Those vegans will eat anything vegan no matter how bad it is for them.

P.S. Here is an idea. Subscribe to my blog. I don't have a normal job where I can update my blog on a regular basis from my cubical, so you should subscribe and get notified every time I update. Just an idea.

Clean Keyz

Look at your computer. Is it dirty? Do you feel like you just bought that laptop and now it looks like someone rubbed their skid-marked undies all over it?

Do you want to start a business that will require a very small initial investment, have low overhead, be easy to franchise, hard to screw up, and will make money like diamonds pooping gold? If you answered yes, then you my friend should start a computer and PDA cleaning and detailing service and call it, ohhhh, let's say Clean Keyz?


Do you want to make money?

Why haven't you stopped reading this and started trying to borrow money?

All you need is a quick turnaround time, and quality customer service. Supplies and materials for this type of operation would be very cheap, and finding employable emlpoyees shouldn't prove too difficult.

You can clean everything from laptops to phones. I have seen some dirty phones in my day...Not that kind of dirty.