Monday, September 22, 2008
People love candy. We love to chew it, lick it, crunch it, and stick it in our mouths.
More specifically, we love chocolate. We love it. We love it. We love it, because it loves us.
Chocolate has been proven to trigger some of the same reactions in the human body as passionate kissing and feelings of love. Chocolate has also been proven to have various other beneficial health effects, so a little bit of chocolate is a good thing.
The problem is that sometimes this confusion of passion and calories gets people in trouble. We start eating a box of chocolates and can't stop. They keep calling to us like little, delicious, ebony, bitch, sirens, and we keep succumbing, sticking them in our mouths, and letting them do their damage on our hips, and fatty, fat, fat stomachs. We eat the whole bag, and then feel just as much remorse and shame, as the night after a drunken sex fest with a girl who turns out to be missing three toes on her left foot. You know what I am talking about.
This is where the Choco-Lock-Box would come in handy.
It would be a candy dispenser that would only dispense one or two pieces of chocolate or some other candy in a 24 hour time period.
You would fill it up, lock it up, and it would keep you on a strict candy ration, and you would only be able to open it again when all the candy was gone out of it.
I think that this is the little bit of self control help that most of us need, so get out there and invent it, sell it, make a million dollars, and send me some of that money, so that I can get a chick with all her toes...metaphorically speaking.
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