PitchMen

Don't you hate it when your favorite AS SEEN ON TV pitchman dies? Can't see yourself watching TV stoned at 4am ever again? Are you looking for an answer?

How about an Ideas By Chuck IDEA? What's that?! Stay tuned to find out more!

When I heard that Billy Mays had passed away, I got sad. But then I thought to myself WWBMD? Billy Mays would dry his tears away with a Zorbeez™ the AS SEEN ON TV super absorbent towel, and turn this tragedy into opportunity.


I know what you are thinking! How can you do that? Well Sharon, in the next few paragraphs I am going to tell you about an amazing new idea that can turn your life around and that frown upside down! So stick around and find out how!

Now, I am sure that you are all avid followers of Billy's Discovery Channel show PitchMen, a brilliant combination of advertising and drama, but where will this show go now that Billy is gone? Do you really think that Anthony "Sully" Sullivan can carry the show by himself?

Say it with me! - I DON'T THINK SO!

Sullivan can't handle all the pitching by himself, so who will carry the show? Who will step in to sell fine products to the good people of America? Who will make offers even sweeter by doubling what you get for the same price for limited times? Who will throw in additional amazing items at NO EXTRA COST?



WHO WILL FILL BILLY MAYS' SHOES?



Vince Offer, A.K.A. The Shamwow Guy? No! His image is so dirty that even OxiClean™ could get it clean. His recent arrest for attacking a prostitute has knocked him off the short list. Vince Offer?

Say it with me! - I DON'T THINK SO!

Ron Popeil of RonCo fame? No! He is too old! He's so old, he could have invented breathing. Do you think America will trust a guy that old?

Say it with me! - I DON'T THINK SO!

Say, Sharon, do you remember when I told you that I had an idea? Say folks, do you remember when I said I had an idea? Well, here it is!

PitchMen should be turned into a search for America's Next Big Pitchman!



What do you think about that folks? Just imagine watching the exploits of 15 unknown pitch men and women as they try to become the next Billy Mays! And don't forget about all the amazing product placement that this makes possible! Doesn't that sound exciting folks?

Say it with me! - I DO THINK SO!!!

The show would be hosted by Anthony Sullivan and each week a panel of judges randomly composed of stoners, housewives, and the unemployed would decide the contestants' fates. Special guest appearances by Ralph Nader could also be a regular part of the show.

Act now! If you are a Discovery Channel Executive Producer, Anthony Sullivan, or someone else at Sullivan Productions, and you use this idea to make millions, please send me some of that cash +S&H. Sorry, no CODs. Hurry! Act now and I will throw in another idea for FREE! The special limited edition Michael Jackson sequin covered Ove Glove!™. This is a limited time offer, so act now!



P.S. Subscribe to Ideas By Chuck and for a limited time I will dedicate one of my prayers for Billy Mays to you for FREE.

P.P.S. I was sad about Michael Jackson too, but with ideas like the vibrating yoga ball, I think you all understand why I had to make this mainly about Billy Mays.



P.P.P.S. I am still on Twitter. Follow me - ideasbychuck.

MasterDaters

Yeah, this is my 75th idea, and I know some of you are wondering when I am going to either become super rich, and or give up on this whole ideas blog thing. If I am bad at one thing, it is giving up. Men who refuse to give up on other people's ideas are zealots, fanatics, and obsessive compulsive. Men who refuse to give up on their own ideas are men of vision. I say, "men" because I am a man, and my friend has a hat that says, "men of vision" on it, but you can put a "wo-" in front of all the "mens" if you want to. There are definitely some women of vision out there too, but I am a man, so I want to be a man of vision. Long story short - I'm not giving up yet.

For this Special Edition 75th Idea I am going to give you, my millions of loyal readers, an idea that I actually worked on selling to someone before I got sidetracked. I almost had the time, energy, and passion to bring THIS idea to life.

MASTERDATERS - A multi-platform dating spectacle.

MasterDaters is a speed dating event with combined with Iron Chef, Wipe Out, Singled Out, and Monday Night football. Participants go on a series of speed dates while having their moves and mistakes documented and analyzed by snarky commentators using all the modern sports coverage tools such as screen graphics and instant replay. Michael Buckley and Greg Behrendt could be a good host duo, especially if their hair can be brought under control.

The show would also feature rotating special guests such as Dr. Sue, Dr. Drew, Dr. John Gray, Neil Straus, and other relationship experts, plus a roving on-field reporter (the usual hot chick with big breasts, raspy voice, and a slightly checkered past brandishing an oversized, overly phallic microphone). She would interview participants of interest as they move to their next date.

The main point to make about this show is that there are no winners or losers, well... at least not in the usual game show sense of these words. This is more about the spectacle, the event - People meeting People. There would be a live audience, a DJ, lights etc. and the show would be filmed at a hot club.

Every episode ends with a big dance party.

INTERNET TIE IN - Everyone wants this so bad!

The show would tour from city to city, and would be promoted like a big party with a MTV Spring Break vibe, single people flocking to it for the chance to be on TV, meet other singles, and party. Participants would be chosen from the crowd like the Price is Right, and casting would be fairly loose. Every person chosen to be a participant would be given a profile on the MasterDaters singles networking/dating site in a special "as seen on TV" section (obviously, this could also be worked out as a partnership with Facebook or Myspace).

Everyone else who comes out will be strongly encouraged to join the MasterDaters site etc. and they will all have to go to the MasterDaters sight the next day to check out the branded Cobra-Snake-like photos of themselves from the crazy after party.

Unlike other dating shows that are very LA-centric until they run out of people in LA claiming not to be actors, this show would reach out to the rest of the country. You like someone you see on the show they shot in your city, you can go online and contact them. Plus, the large amount of contestants on each episode would present a wide variety of interest for the viewing public.

Get this show on TV, and get your diamond bedazzled checkbook out to write me a check with lots of zeros involved. This is going to make someone a ton of money because done right this show can tie together live events, television broadcasts, and web content in a very cohesive and powerful way that sponsors will be fighting tooth and nail to get a piece of, and after all, that's what it's all about, gettin a piece!

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P.P.P.P.P.S. If you want the PDF one sheet for MasterDaters, contact me through Twitter.

3-D The Movie

Some people have been calling Seth Rogen the next Tom Hanks, and for a while now I have been pushing the idea that Tom Hanks and Seth Rogen will be in a movie together soon. It just seems like some movie executive's wet dream. I even made a shirt that says, "Untitled Tom Hanks/Seth Rogen Project." This is one movie idea that I think I can really will into existence, especially since it is basically like predicting that it will rain sometime in the next year.

Recently, I started really thinking harder about it and came up with a title and plot for the film. I also decided that the movie should be shot in 3-D because all the movie studios have hard-ons for 3-D because it gives people a reason to actually go to the movies again.

Title: 3-D The Movie
Genre: Laugh Out Loud Romantic Comedy
Logline: Be Kind Rewind meets The Majestic meets Doc Hollywood.

Synopsis: Party boy Barry Bender (Seth Rogen) is on top of the world until his trust fund's entire stock portfolio tanks and everyone abandons him. He contemplates suicide, but as he climbs out onto the ledge of his lawyer's 54th floor office, he gets a call from Jerry Reynolds (Tom Hanks), his long lost older brother that he never knew he had. Jerry explains that their father just passed away, leaving Barry half of everything he owned.

Barry travels to Bozeman, Montana for his father's funeral and to survey his newly acquired assets. Barry is feeling pretty good until he discovers that all he has inherited is half of a floundering second-run movie theater. With nowhere to go, he decides to stay in town and try to sell his half.


Barry and Jerry clash at first and Barry sticks out like a sore thumb, and wants out as fast as possible until he meets the beautiful, mysterious, and slightly nutty Shali Patel (Freida Pinto). Sparks fly, but she wants nothing to do with his party boy, do nothing lifestyle. He has to change to win her heart.

Eventually, the brothers find common ground in their love of movies and Barry comes up with a whacky plan to turn the theater around. They make every movie they show "3-D" by hiring actors from the community theater including Shali Patel and using kooky DIY special effects - spraying water on the audience during Jaws, shaking the seats during Earthquake, etc.

The "3-D" movies are a hit. People start coming from miles around to see experience their favorite old movies in this new, wacky way. It is such a big hit that a giant movie theater chain comes to town and offers to buy the theater. At first, Barry jumps at the chance to get back to his old life and says yes to selling the theater. Shali overhears him agree to the sale and storms off. Barry realizes that he would rather stay in Bozeman with her than leave. He runs after her, only to discover that she has left town, and that she is the heiress to a hotel chain fortune.

With Jerry's help, he is able to track her down, and the movie ends with him coming out on stage at a charity screening of When Harry Met Sally that Shali is attending in Hollywood. Barry professes his love for her. Jerry meets Meg Ryan, and they instantly click.


The four of them live happily ever after.

Are you ready to write this yet? Are you ready to executive produce it? Are you ready to act in it? Tom? Seth? Doesn't it have "hit" written all over it?

Selling Points:

1. 3-D! The studios love 3-D!

2. Tom Hanks and Seth Rogen get butts in the seats.

3. Using footage from old movies would save money in the production of the film, and also boost DVD sales, rentals, and downloads of those movies.

4. America is F'n jonesing to see Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan on screen together again.

If you decide to write the script, please give me a writer credit, and if you sell it, please give me some of the money. Actually, try to get some points. I'll take one point.

P.S. I heard that Stephen Hawking subscribes to Ideas By Chuck. Besides being paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair, don't you want to be like Stephen Hawking? Subscribe.

P.P.S. Freida Pinto is so hot!

P.P.P.S. Why do Indian women hate me?

P.P.P.P.S. I am on Twitter, and it seems to be going well. You can follow me if you want. Click Here.