Friday, November 14, 2008

Hacky Snacks

Do you work for Willy Wonka, Hasbro, Jelly Belly, Tonka, Wham-O, Slam-O, Jack-O, Wack-O, or any other candy/toy company that I didn't mention? Do you want to bring joy and cavities to millions of boys and girls, while making millions? Are you excited yet?

Get excited, because here is my latest idea: the Hacky Snack.

What is a Hacky Snack? It's just what it sounds like it is. The Hacky Snack is a hacky sack or footbag filled with candy instead of the usual plastic beads or beans. You know. For kids!

The Hacky Snack sack would open and close easily so that after you have kicked it around, you can open it up and have a taste of that tasty candy inside.

Believe it or not, I (my mom) actually made a prototype and did some of the groundwork on this idea. Here is what I found.

One, Nerds work best as the candy inside, so Willy Wonka should be all over this idea. Two, Runts suck, both as a filling for the Hacky Snack and as a candy. Three, the sack closing mechanism is the tricky part. It has to be easy to open and close, but at the same time, not throw off the weight balance of the sack.

Sure, some of you are wondering who would want to eat candy that has been touching people's feet, the ground, and a dog named Carma's mouth? The answer, kids. Kids love disgusting candy. More Disgusting = More Fun. Have you seen the stuff that kids are eating these days? Think about the candy that you stuffed in your chubby little face as a kid. Fun Dip? Super Giant Jaw Breakers? Big League Chew? Big League Chew is supposed to be chewing tobacco for kids.
Still not sure? Wondering about the FDA? Don't think they will be okay with it?

The candy inside the sack would be in a plastic pouch similar to the Glad ForceFlex trash bags, completely protecting it from the elements. Refill pouches of candy for the Hacky Snack would be sold separately.

There are sooooooooo many different little details that can be added or tweaked to make the Hacky Snack more appealing to kids. I will let you work out most of those details, but think about this.

The Hacky Snacks can be made into collectible items by printing characters from a popular movie franchise on them, and guess what. This idea was actually born from a 30 installment mega movie franchise that me and my friends Mike B. and Spencer K. are writing. I can't give away much about this project without you signing a nondisclosure agreement, but I will say that the product tie in with Hacky Snacks is complete and the most stunning example of toy/movie/candy synergy ever seen on this planet.

Basically, you would be a fool to make Hacky Snacks and not dump a couple of million into the production of the first movie in this 30 part mega movie franchise.

P.S. Ideas By Chuck is free to subscribe to. Why haven't you subscribed?

P.P.S. No candy babies were eaten during the writing of this post.


Unknown said...

I love it! What an excellent idea. Maybe you could create our own hacky snack with your own "nerd" type candy inserted called "dorks". Keep up the good work! Let me know if I can be of any assistance.

Charles McCarthy said...

I think there were these things called Nerds BBs or something that were basically the same thing as the plastic beads in hacky sacks, but made out of the same Nerds candy.

If I were going to make something specifically to go into the sacks, it would probably be similar to those if they ever existed.

P.I.E. said...

I just finished a book on WHAM-O entitled WHAM-O Super-Book:Celebrating 60 Years Inside the Fun Factory! With all its toys fresh in my consciousness here's my take on other food related WHAM-O ideas.

Hula Hoop made out of Pixie Sticks "Defies gravity while giving you cavities!"

Super Ball Jaw Breaker "Bounces over houses and chips your teeth!"

Slip 'N Slide Slurpee Splash "Now that's summer refreshment!"

SuperElasticBubbleYum "Bubble Gum with noxious fumes you can inhale yourself!"

and finally...

Silly String Cheese "This is what you get when you cross aerosol plastic foam with aerosol plastic cheese"

Joshua Samuel Brown said...

You are a brilliant and special genius. I want to be your special internet friend, sharing ideas. Together we will be unstoppable! As a show of good faith, I am linking here and within this very comment box my BILLION dollar idea for a sequel to the SIXTH SENSE, entitled "DUDE, I SEE DEAD PEOPLE"

please. be my friend. you are a genius.

Charles McCarthy said...

Tim - Those are some pretty sweet ideas.

Joshua - I will be your special internet friend, and I left you a comment on your script.

Anonymous said...

Iheard about your idea for Doritos cereal. Only a fat boy would think of that.Why dont you think of something nutritious?

Unknown said...

I was just going to ask a simple question unitl I read the "fat boy" comment. So, cowardly fool who didnt have the balls to identify themselves while feeling free to insult my little brother this is what I have to say to you: Show yourself! Who are you calling fat?! Chuck is not fat, in fact he is pretty buff and could kick your ass. However he wont have to because it will be my pleasure to do it for him along with all the other brilliant buff people out there that thought Doritos cereal was a great idea. We will all kick your fat ass on Chucks behalf.

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