Sunday, June 28, 2009

PitchMen


Don't you hate it when your favorite AS SEEN ON TV pitchman dies? Can't see yourself watching TV stoned at 4am ever again? Are you looking for an answer?

How about an Ideas By Chuck IDEA? What's that?! Stay tuned to find out more!

When I heard that Billy Mays had passed away, I got sad. But then I thought to myself WWBMD? Billy Mays would dry his tears away with a Zorbeez™ the AS SEEN ON TV super absorbent towel, and turn this tragedy into opportunity.


I know what you are thinking! How can you do that? Well Sharon, in the next few paragraphs I am going to tell you about an amazing new idea that can turn your life around and that frown upside down! So stick around and find out how!

Now, I am sure that you are all avid followers of Billy's Discovery Channel show PitchMen, a brilliant combination of advertising and drama, but where will this show go now that Billy is gone? Do you really think that Anthony "Sully" Sullivan can carry the show by himself?

Say it with me! - I DON'T THINK SO!

Sullivan can't handle all the pitching by himself, so who will carry the show? Who will step in to sell fine products to the good people of America? Who will make offers even sweeter by doubling what you get for the same price for limited times? Who will throw in additional amazing items at NO EXTRA COST?



WHO WILL FILL BILLY MAYS' SHOES?



Vince Offer, A.K.A. The Shamwow Guy? No! His image is so dirty that even OxiClean™ could get it clean. His recent arrest for attacking a prostitute has knocked him off the short list. Vince Offer?

Say it with me! - I DON'T THINK SO!

Ron Popeil of RonCo fame? No! He is too old! He's so old, he could have invented breathing. Do you think America will trust a guy that old?

Say it with me! - I DON'T THINK SO!

Say, Sharon, do you remember when I told you that I had an idea? Say folks, do you remember when I said I had an idea? Well, here it is!

PitchMen should be turned into a search for America's Next Big Pitchman!



What do you think about that folks? Just imagine watching the exploits of 15 unknown pitch men and women as they try to become the next Billy Mays! And don't forget about all the amazing product placement that this makes possible! Doesn't that sound exciting folks?

Say it with me! - I DO THINK SO!!!

The show would be hosted by Anthony Sullivan and each week a panel of judges randomly composed of stoners, housewives, and the unemployed would decide the contestants' fates. Special guest appearances by Ralph Nader could also be a regular part of the show.

Act now! If you are a Discovery Channel Executive Producer, Anthony Sullivan, or someone else at Sullivan Productions, and you use this idea to make millions, please send me some of that cash +S&H. Sorry, no CODs. Hurry! Act now and I will throw in another idea for FREE! The special limited edition Michael Jackson sequin covered Ove Glove!™. This is a limited time offer, so act now!



P.S. Subscribe to Ideas By Chuck and for a limited time I will dedicate one of my prayers for Billy Mays to you for FREE.

P.P.S. I was sad about Michael Jackson too, but with ideas like the vibrating yoga ball, I think you all understand why I had to make this mainly about Billy Mays.



P.P.P.S. I am still on Twitter. Follow me - ideasbychuck.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

MJ OV Glove... BRILLIANT!

act now and we'll throw in an additional child sized Easy Bake Ov Glove for those times when you have friends that are children over to hang out and bake together... you know 40 year olds and 10 year olds hangin out platonic baking, no bigs

Anonymous said...

Maybe you can throw in an over timer that goes eeehhe whooo jammon' if you buy two Jackson Ov Gloves

Anonymous said...

A few years ago my cousin fell down a well in Indiana, I won't go into the details here but the OV Glove was instrumental in her rescue. Joke all you want but it's actually a really great product and because of it Bethany lived to see her third birthday.

I love the OV.

Anonymous said...

DID IT EVER OCCUR TO ANYONE ELSE THAT MICHAEL JACKSON WORE THAT GLOVE SO HE COULD CONFIDENTLY SAY "I NEVER TOUCHED THAT CHILD" AND BE TECHNICALLY TELLING THE TRUTH AND ABLE TO PASS LIE DETECTOR TESTS.

HE WORE IT ALL THE TIME SO HE COULD BE READY TO NOT BE TECHNICALLY TOUCHING ANY HIMSELF OR OTHERS ANYTIME.

Anonymous said...

(L)OV Glove

http://www.bongonews.com/StoryImages/michael_jackson_glove_2005-03-30.JPG

now cough

bgpromo_mm said...

OMG you and I think alot alike my man. Except that I do have the passion to make this happen. I am trying to become America's Next Pitchman. Out of respect to Billy and having his AWESOME salesmanship carried on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ykTXs0u_S4

Or just google or youtube the words "America's Next Pitchman".. Im already up there first. I will pay it forward tenfold if you can help me out:)
God Bless You,
Matthew Moses