Hybrid Vs. Inbred

Fair warning, this is one of my more socially conscious ideas, so no big payday. But, if you work for Tesla Motors, Toyota, Zap Cars, or any other hybrid/electric car companies, you will probably be interested in this, as you have a vested interest in seeing it happen. Listen up, and get ready to act on my unsolicited advice.

As many of you, my hundreds of millions of adoring readers, know, I am very interested in the environment. I have had several ideas about ways we could save the world from getting McDonald's to place the first franchise on the moon to candy cane chopsticks. I care about the environment and the world not dying. I care, so I think that President Barack Obama needs to invite the head honchos from NASCAR to the White House and have a little chat.

What should this chat be about? President Barack Obama needs to strongly encourage them, in Dick Cheney kind of way (guns, sticks, water and car batteries), to allow hybrid technology to be used in NASCAR race cars.

Why?

Well, the way I see it, we need some competition to get us competing again. I keep hearing Chevy touting its NASCAR win record, but you don't here them bragging about their sales records. Competition breeds innovation, and we need some innovations. We need some better cars.

Now I know some of you are having your doubts. Why should Obama get involved? Presidents don't need to get involved in sports. Won't this change the spirit of NASCAR? Do I look fat in this outfit?

In 1905, President Teddy Roosevelt extended a similar invitation to the White House to all head honchos of American Football at that time because so many men were getting seriously injured or killed playing the game. He suggested several rule changes and modern football, one of the most popular sports in the world, was born.

So you see, Obama would not be the first President of the United States to take more than a casual interest in a sport. He would be following in the footsteps of a man with a big stick. There are three big guys up in Detroit that are dying, and he might be able to save them with a few rule changes.

Here is another history lesson. NASCAR was borne from bootlegging. Bootleggers were doing whatever they could to make their cars go faster and longer and they started competing against each other. The whole point of the sport, the competition, is to make your car go faster and last longer. The drivers are athletes, but the cars are the real stars.

If you were to go back in time and tell a bootlegger that his car would go 100 more miles on one tank of gas with a hybrid engine in it, what do you think he would say? Do you think he would turn up his nose at that? No. The cop cars can't chase you if they are out of gas. Do you really think that any serious bootlegger would ignore whatever advantage he could get?

This needs to happen. I went to school where Deliverance was filmed, and let me tell you, there are some smart hicks, hillbillies, and rednecks. They just need the right kind of motivation.

A few years ago it was blasphemy to even think about Toyotas competing, but today they do. Letting hybrid technology into the mix will not stop the cars from going fast, fans from getting drunk. It will not make the promo-girl-car-models that look like they can't possibly achieve an orgasm without having at least one hand on the hood of a car during sex disappear. There will still be burgers. People will vomit, and cars will still crash.

We need to start competing if we want to compete. I don't know if I am the first person to say that. It sounds like a Yogi Berra quote, but it is true. If you are the Secretary of State, you might want to whisper this into President Obama's ear at the next cabinet meeting.

P.S. Subscribing to IdeasByChuck might just save my life.

P.P.S. I love funnel cake.

P.P.P.S. I love funnel cake, and yes you look fat in that outfit.

P.P.P.P.S. Funnel cake is so good! Why is it so good!

Save The World

How would you like to win 25 million dollars?

I don't know if you have heard about Al Gore and Knight Richard Branson's Virgin Earth Challenge, but it is a competition to invent a device or process to actively reduce the levels of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. The prize is 25 million dollars.

Do you want to win?

Carbon dioxide is one of the major greenhouse gases. If we could reduce the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, it would go a long way towards reversing the greenhouse effect.

Plants all around the world absorb carbon dioxide and turn it into oxygen, but a very large portion of the oxygen is actually produced by blue-green algae floating around in the ocean. There are also blue-green algae that can be found in the air, airborne algae.

My hypothesis, yes I am going to use the fancy name for an idea, is that if we seed hurricanes and tropical storms with airborne blue-green algae, we will see a significant reduction of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.

Hurricanes produce a very friendly environment for these airborne bacteria, as well as circulating and agitating the earths atmosphere. They are naturally occurring giant vacuums, sucking in air, moisture, and energy.

Moreover, the life of a hurricane is lived mostly over water, and I believe that most of the algae will precipitate out of the atmosphere before the hurricane reaches land.
In the ocean waters, the algae will either continue to produce oxygen or will be eaten and absorbed by other organisms.

I don't have a team of grad students to kick around, the money to grow blue-green algae in large quantities, fly planes over hurricanes to drop it, nor instruments to check carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere. You might have these things, and you should use them to test my hypothesis and prove to judges Al Gore, Knight Richard Branson, James Lovelock, Tim Flannery, Dr. James E. Hansen, Knight Crispin Tickell, and Paula Abdul that I am right.

You can save the world and win millions of dollars. You can also show that you are a nice guy or girl by giving me some of that money, so I can go to the dentist. Problems are problems. You don't have to be a cheerleader with super powers to save the world and be a hero.

I know that not all of you, my loyal readers, are glaciologists, marine biologists, chemists, climatologists, and the like, but if you know someone who is, please pass this on to them. Don't forget to encourage them to be nice, and give me some of the prize money.

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P.P.S. You can also now Digg Ideas By Chuck, and it would be great if you would.